Marie Antoinette

They say you can't have
Your cake and eat it too.

But someone also said,
At one point in history,
Let them eat cake.

I just want fucking cake.
But I can't have any kind of
Cake I actually want.

I guess my favorite is cheesecake.
But in the college front,
I've had to settle for like
Chocolate or something.
You know, something that's still
Pretty good, just not anything you
Were in the mood for to begin with.

In the personal relations department,
I don't think I have any.
Or like, someone keeps taking mine.
Or makes it for me and then tells
Me I can't have it.

Either way, I am cakeless.

But I guess it's better that way, right?
I mean, there's nothing that healthy
Or good about cake anyway.

Social Interaction

Well, yesterday my mood
Started off in a medium,
But then I went to lunch
With my cousin
And I cheered up a bit after that.

But then it came down really
Low, because of the usual
Stuff that bothers me (my wants
And what I have), so dinner
Was a bit of a fail.

Turns out food doesn't
Taste as good when you
Make it in a crap mood.

Laundry sucked too.
But laundry always sucks.

Then, I realized
That me and The Violinist Next Door
Have quite a bit in common.
Which was really nice.
And I had a moment with Masshole.
Which was really nice.

It takes some social interaction
To lift my mood.

And ice cream.
Preferably cookie dough.


About A Girl

Note: This poem comes from the MOST personal piece of writing I have, called The Mean People Suck Notebook.  It's filled with lots of random stuff, I let my friend doodle in it, but I let no one read it.  Here's a sneak peak of what's in it.  It's pretty on par for what's bugging me right now.
I kind of want to be that girl
Who has guys hanging onto
Her more.
The one guys would kill
To be matched up to.
She's got so many options
She doesn't know who to choose.
She's so scared of getting hurt,
She doesn't play her cards right,
All they want is a passing glance
But she doesn't give them time.

I guess she always comes off
As a little aloof.
And her lack of dates
And snuggles are solid proof.

But then again she really doesn't
Need to get distracted.
She's got enough on her plate,
So excuse the way she's acting.

Maybe one she'll break out
Of her cocoon and
Let someone in close enough
To share her space.
Man that'd be awesome
Except I won't be that girl.
Because I'm not calloused,
Unapproachable, closed-off,
And inexplicably unattainable.
My friendliness and openness
Make people like me.
And it's because of those people
That I write and stick
Around to help out.

Without them I am nothing.



It's been scientifically proven
That lightning does actually
Strike the same place twice,
Sometimes more than once
During a storm.

I don't want to say
It's been storming for
Two years straight,
Because that's a bit dramatic
And honestly, not true,
But hot damn, I am not
Letting the lightning
Strike twice in the same way.

Because shit does not
Happen the same way twice.

Sure, two years ago, I might have
Been angry enough at the miscommunication
To lash out like some dumb teenager,
But I won't let it happen again.

I am pretty embarrassed that I let that
Happen.  But I guess when you're angry
Enough, nothing really matters except
How angry you are.

So I guess I have to stay away from
Anything that could call attention to it.

But I really shouldn't have to.

I have other friends who maybe
Don't know me as well as MSCBFF,
But who are definitely more available
And could be there for me when he isn't.

And I can't just sit around waiting for when
He's available.
But then again, as I learned from
Waiting for Godot,
Life happens when you're waiting
For something.
Again, perhaps there are things
That are more worth while to wait for
Than someone who is perpetually busy
Until some form of a break comes.
And I don't mean that in a condescending
You be busy, boy!
Go live your life.

And so will I.


Bad Movie Night (B.O.A.)

7/27/10Fashion Trends & Styles - Polyvore

7/27/10 by jladz65 

Last night I went downtown to chill with Nose-Ring Pixie, Beartrap, and The Greek for some bad movies.  Or so I thought.  We wound up watching Return of the King.  It's a great movie, but it's so long.  But making really really dumb comments at everything was the best.  Such as possibly watching it in Black-D and apparently Kelly + Regis = Rage-is.  And seeing Beartrap recite the movie was pretty freaking adorable.

Top is from free people, skirt is from Diesel, makeup from Sephora, shoes from Vans, and cute socks from Esprit.  The skirt barely covers up my butt, so I felt like a bit of a hoe, but I was a cute hoe.



I sat in a park with Beartrap,
Hoping to spend some time with
Him before Nose-ring Pixie
Showed up, but instead
This older man came and started
Talking to us.

He started telling us things about
His life, like the death of his wife,
How he's getting married so soon,
And I thought two things.

I'm not even entirely
From the city, and I understand
How most New Yorkers and city-folk
Keep to themselves, so how is this
Guy just walking up to us and telling
Part of his life story?  Isn't that a bit terrifying?
I mean, I'd totally say that we're just a
Pair of "college-bound" kids so we're not too scary,
But college-bound kids are exactly what I'm afraid of.

(I didn't say these thoughts were short)
His wife died six year ago and he's back on the
Dating scene.  She.  Died.  Six.  Years.  Ago.
I must be some form of an emotional cripple
Because it took me a year to fully recover from
A breakup.  I mean, he probably still thinks about her
But he's getting married again...I think I would have
Totally caved in his situation, but what do I know?
I'm not in it and I'm just a teenager who gets
Anxious about everything.


Hanging Out With Nose-Ring Pixie (B.O.A.)

Today, my facebook-mom, Nose-ring Pixie, and I are hanging out.  I am also seeing my cousin's baby later in the day and then meeting up again (I hope).  My actual mother keeps making all these plans that she mentions at the last minute when I already have plans made.  It's really annoying.

I wore a random black tank top, this new Urban Outfitters v-neck I bought yesterday, shorts from American Eagle, and really cute hi-top Vans sneakers that are pink.  Clearly, I couldn't find exactly everything I wore online.

Total Fiction

Note: This one is based off a dream I had last night.  It came to me when I woke up from it at 2:45 AM, but my mother thought I had been up until that hour, so I couldn't write it down.  Enjoy!

He looked like wood-boy when I found him.
He had twigs in his hair, mud on his face,
But so adorable with the blanket wrapped
Around him, mug of hot tea in his hands,
And this really calm serene look on his face.

"What happened, boo?  Why weren't you in chem class this morning?
I was so worried!"
I asked, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Babe, I forgot to tell you, but sometimes I
He said, without an ounce of concern.

I looked at him,

"Sleepwalk."  He repeated.

I said, with a slight chuckle, as if a 20-year-old
College kid could answer the bonus
Question on the "why people sleep" test.

"Well I don't know why, but everytime
It's happened,
I've had the most beautiful dreams."

What the fuck did you dream
About, then, the night when
I didn't see you in the morning.
The morning after we spent our
One millionth night together.
Did you forget to take your sleep
Meds because they induce nightmares?
Why did you forget?
How could you leave me like this?
Getting that phone call
The next morning, from your cell phone,
Expecting it to be you but instead
It was the campus police, asking if I
Knew where you were, asking if I
Perhaps held you hostage somewhere,
Was the worst moment of my life
So far.  You said you loved me.
I guess your subconscious thought
Otherwise.  Now mine hates you but wants
You back at the same time.  This is such torture.
Come back to me, please?  Maybe in a dream
And tell me everything?  I want to know
Everything that happened after we fell
Asleep that night.  So that I could
Finally have some


The Dealbreaker Test

It's like a road test.

In that, you don't get
Reward points, but rather
Penalty points.

I like to think everyone starts with a hundred.

And points get deducted
For dealbreakers.

Minor ones, like
Cursing too much in front of adults
Are like five points.

Bigger ones, like
Smoking cigarettes or dating people
I knew,
Are like 15 points.

The huge ones, like
Drug use/addiction and living way to far away
Are like 30 points
And the dude fails.

It's a silly system,
Thank God it doesn't exist.
I hope no one uses it.

I don't.


Beartrap (M.S.O.)

Borrowed this pic without his permission from Facebook
Not sure if it would be safe to post my friend's full name on the internet so people can stalk him.  If you really must know, his first name is really Paul.

Anyway, he writes music and stuff.  It's pretty good.  If you like acoustic stuff with grungy-sounding lead singers, he might just be the guy for you.  My fave song has to be "Forty Dollars."  He also writes some techno...on his gameboy, which is cool.  But definitely check him out.

http://8bc.org/music/P4ulJTechno/Positron/ <--Gameboy music

http://www.youtube.com/user/CrackedWhistle <--Random stuff with music


Inception (M.R.)

Borrowed from Filmofilia
This movie is the movie of the summer.  The only thing that could have possibly topped this one is if Harry Potter 7 or 7.5 came out at the same time.  It is nice to finally see a totally original movie that had been thought out to its fullest potential without many plot holes.  The visuals were incredible (most likely because I saw it in Imax for the first time in my life) and the actors seemed so real in their delivery.  The only real complaint I have is the soundtrack (WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH Shutter Island style).

When I started seeing trailers and TV spots for the film, I had no idea what it was about.  Something about dreams and crimes and Leonardo DiCaprio was all I could gather.  So I went into the film with an open mind.  And it was completely encompassed by the sheer awesomeness of the whole dream scape idea-implantation idea.  The most intriguing part is that this is not some futuristic technology (okay, to some extent, it is) but it plays off the idea of how dreams work.  And the audience is stuck in Christopher Nolan's dream.

Now I do not know if the movie was visually sort of perfect or if Imax made it seem that way.  But either way, I was so fascinated and absorbed in the dream scape.  What is really nice is that everything was not in a turquoise or orange filter.  But I think the best sequence of the movie was when they incorporated the idea of fighting in free fall without gravity.  To pull something like that off without it being too fake takes some genius.

And then there is the acting.  Sure, the only total unreality was that everyone remained so focused and calm.  But maybe that is because they were trained professionals.  I know I would be pooping myself.  Ellen Page still looks 16, but Joseph Gordon-Levitt is proving to be quite the actor.  I saw him in 500 Days of Summer and I thought he was good in that one.

The commentary on the soundtrack was a joke.  Not something I would want on my iPod, per se, but it really fit the idea.  The repetition of the drone sort of reminded the reader they were in a dream, since it only happened in all the dream sequences.  Overall, I would definitely not mind seeing this movie again.  I recommend everyone to see it because it truly a work of original genius.  Or go see crappy remakes.  Pick one.

Rating: 10/10 (That hasn't happened, but this definitely deserved it)


Bad Case of the Stupids

Inspired by and image courtesy of I Can Read
It's only a month,
Actually, less than
That at this point.

Control yourself.

Whatever happens...
Actually, don't let

Don't do anything stupid.
Just...let go?  Ugh.
Just...don't care?  Impossible.
Just...don't do anything.

I guess you could
Make a friend or two.
That's totally kosher.

But anything else
Is so not worth it.

What if it is?
What if statements
Are the worst.

In a book in the second person,
One of those "pick your path" ones
You can see the ending,
Turn back a few pages
And go towards the one you want.

Or you can just dog-ear the book
And come back to it later.

You can't do that in life though.

It's only a month,

Movies Today (B.O.A.)

7/22/10Fashion Trends & Styles - Polyvore

7/22/10 by jladz65 

When you're up at really early in the morning, there's only so much you can do.  I decided to sit down and plan out today's outfits.  I might get started on tomorrow's.  Plus, I sort of feel like I want to look pretty today because I'm seeing Inception.  Expect a movie review tomorrow morning.  Jeans from American Eagle, sandals I own a similar pair from Century 21, Mac mascara, Smashbox eyeliner that I am in love with, similar color lipgloss from Sephora, belt from Longchamp, and the top is from Express.

5:30 A.M.

Courtesy of Baby Steps
There's nothing to do at
5:30 AM.
Sure, you can check
A few emails,
Go on facebook,
But socially,
There's nothing to do at 5:30 A.M.

I guess I could get
Some reading.
Or some working out done.

I think I might do that.

An hour later...
I did that.
I read my 50-page-a-day minimum.
And listened to the White Crosses
Album by Against Me!  It
Was pretty good.

But I still shouldn't be up for another...
I dunno?
Few hours or so.
I'll just take a nice nap later.


Il PhotoEssay di Firenze (N.a.P.)

As you know, I was in Florence for the passed seven days.  I really wanted to get this up earlier, but I was so tired and frustrated from the flight and losing my luggage that I couldn't.  So here am I, doing a better job of it.

DAY 1 (7/14/10 Wednesday)
We landed quite early in the afternoon so me and my dad walked around a bit to check out what's in the neighborhood.  We had the Santa Maria Novella church and piazza.
This was before we discovered the shorter, easier to get around places.  Like we took the long away along the river to the Ponte Vecchio, the last remaining medieval bridge in Florence.
Then we discovered the Piazza De La Republica after some more wandering around.  Not the best place to try finding a bite to eat because everything was so expensive.  But the benches by the carousel provided a good resting spot.

DAY 2 (7/15/10 Thursday)
Most exhausting day of the trip.  I wanted to push a few of my buttons (one being fear of bleeding and the other fear of heights) by climbing up all 416 steps of the Campanile.  I was so scared, that the amount of adrenaline that was pumping made me not realize how badly my legs were hurting.

The second building is Il Duomo, designed by Brunnesleschi.  People could climb it up but seeing how you had to walk around it on the inside, I would not have been able to do it.  One day, maybe.  My dad and I went inside and it was gorgeous.  A bit plain, but the simplicity made it awesome.  We then went to Dante's house.  There was a dude reciting the Divine Comedy outside.
Then we visited the Palazzo Vecchio, the seat of power in Florence, which features a copy of David, one of my favorite sculptures.
We wandered over to the cloisters by San Lorenzo and Santa Croce.

DAY 3 (7/16/10 Friday)
Today was Duff tasting and museum day.  I went to the Accademia Gallery, the Uffizi Gallery, The Salvatore Ferragamo museum, and the Palazzo Pitti.  Lots of walking and another day of being really tired.
I also wanted to see the Brancacci chapel, but it was closed.

DAYS 4 & 5 (7/17/10 - 7/18/10 Saturday and Sunday)
Saturday was my cousin's wedding, which is why I was in Italy in the first place.  My dad and I stayed at this really nice resort because the ceremony took place in a nearby town.  Pics from the wedding aren't available because I don't have any.
After the ceremony and spending time in the pool on Sunday (the wedding ended at 2 AM), my dad and I ventured off to Pisa.  I thought the tower was much taller than it is.

DAY 6 (7/19/10 )
 Last day in Florence.  We finally saw the Brancacci chapel.  The frescoes are amazing.  Then we wandered around a lot.  And took some final pics.

It was a great trip, but I'm ready to be home until August 20th, when I leave for college.


Going Away for a Week (N.a.P.)

Image courtesy of wikipedia

See the dark green area?  I'm going there for a week today.  As mentioned in my last poem, my cousin is getting married on Saturday, so big shoutout to Lukasz and Valeria. I hope it's really fun.

What's also really exciting is that I can now legally drink in Europe.  So I'm looking forward to fine fermented grape juice and European fermented cereal grain juice. Party hard, people.

Don't miss me, I'm back next Tuesday or Wednesday.  My dad doesn't know which.

"My Eyes Don't Recognize You Anymore"

Lyrics in title are from "For Reasons Unknown" by the Killers (Totally found out just now that there's a music video)

In two years, so much can change.
I mean, even between this week
And next week,
Major changes can occur.

Like this Tuesday,
My cousin is a fiance.
Next Tuesday,
He is a husband.

But two years ago,
Someone was one of my closest friends.
Now, we're not even communicating
Via social networking
Due to schedule conflicts and general
Lack of communication.

Not every bridge holds its own.
And every connection between people
Needs to be maintained and what not.
Or else it might fall apart.
And you might not have
Time to take care of that one,
Because of the other bridges you built.

What about those that you haven't checked?
In some cases years.
You haven't seen it in years
Because it's 8 hours away by plane
Or because the other end is closed
When yours is open
Or it's 3 or 4 hours away
And you just don't have
Time to go check it out.

I guess those just have really
Strong foundations built.
Strong materials and whatnot.
That's why they don't fall apart.

The highway and water network
Of friendship traffic
Is a quite confusing one.


"You Get What You Pay For"

They say money can buy happiness and you
Need a lot of it in order to feel any sort of
Satisfaction from life.

Let's do some math, shall we?  I haven't
Done it in a few weeks.

Beverages for 4 people: 20 dollars.
Metrocard rides: probably around 20 dollars.
Shitty pizza: 2.50
Vitamin water and altoids: 5 bucks.
Cupcake making ingredients: 10 bucks.
Entrance fee to indie gig: 8 dollars.
Amazing pizza: between 10 and 20 bucks.

For three days, that's not a lot of cash.
What there was a lot of were awesome
People, new acquaintances, stupid quotes,
New terms, lots of traveling, lots of screen-staring,
And new things to do.

What there was a lack of are pictures.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but
A memory is definitely worth more.
There's more to discuss than just
Colors, funny faces, funny people,
And form and function.


So Out of It

When you wake up
It's half past 5 A.M.
Nothing seems
To make sense much

Like my normal poem posting
Usually occurs between ten A.M.
And nine.

This morning it was at 7 A.M.
And tomorrow at midnight.

I'm really glad my phone
Isn't getting much
Attention tonight.

My head would explode,
I gotta be up early.

Predators (M.R.)

Image courtesy of Predators download, Movies
Where do I begin?  I would say at the beginning, but I will just burst out laughing hysterically.  Sure, it might be advertised as this sci-fi, action, adventure flick.  It is actually a comedy disguised by gore and suspense.

Predators is about a bunch of people that free fall onto an island where something is hunting them.  Or are they hunting something?  Either way, they are royally screwed because they first think that they got abandoned in some jungle on Earth, but turns out that they are in the land of the predator.  It features Adrian Brody, Topher Grace, and Laurence Fishbourne, so if you like talented actors, people from That 70s Show, and Othello, you are going to love this one.

The acting seemed kind of real, except Adrian Brody's character seemed too bad ass for his own good.  He was so bad ass, he did not even reveal his name until the end of the movie.  Now, me and MG(squared) walked into the movie thinking it would be one of those shenanigans where everyone dies at the end or there is an epic moment of deus ex machina and everyone gets saved.  Neither happens.  Whoops, spoiler.

The suspense was great, but the music honestly ruined most of the scenes.  I just could not take it seriously.  As if they have not updated the soundtrack since Arnold Schwarzenegger fought the original predators in that Guatemalan jungle in the 80's.

Special effects department ruled.  Except for the fact that the creatures' blood was Inca-Kola-colored and shined in the night when everything else was pitch-black.  And it was a bit of a shame that the directors chose not to develop the characters' back stories more.  Then again, it would have made the viewer actually care about some really crappy people.  It was a move for the better.

Rating: 7/10


Girls' Night Outs

Chilling one on one
In a comedy club
Might sound kind of lame.

But it is actually loads of fun.

Hosts making the audience
Try out sex pills
With drinking them with beer.

Australian dudes who tastes hummus.

Clowns who stab each other.

Captains of ships called the
S.S. Whore.

References to the volcano
That spent two weeks
Erupting in Iceland.

Loads of fun,
By the way,
Also means potentially


I Wanted to Put Annoyed Face, But I Couldn't

First my tummy
Would have parties whenever
It'd be mad at me.

I guess it invited my head.

There's just so much
Going on and it
Hurts a lot.

Not what's going
On in my head,
But my head itself.

I think all
The screen time
And humidity
And vitamin deficiency
And lack of meat
And not enough face time
Are all contributing factors.




More courses.

I don't know what to do.
I know I have a core to
But I also have some

Like freshman writing
And phys ed.

I just hope I can,
For once,
Get the classes
And schedule I want.

Even if it means being up really early in Italy.
Oh snap.
Time difference.
I won't have
To be up insanely early.


My First Omelet

It's not as exciting
As other firsts.

Examples include,
My first hug,
My first rollercoaster,
My first best friend (Culture Savvy),
My first word (mama),
My first language (Polish),
My first kiss,
My first instrument (violin),
My first time on a plane (to America),
My first meal I cooked (kotlet schabowy),
My first day at school,
My first day of high school,
My first teacher,
My first haircut,
My first drink (smirnoff ice),
My first time,
My first trip outside the city on my own (probably Staten Island),
My first breakup,
My first date (this one gets repeated a lot with different people),
My first paper,
My first project,
My first extracurricular (orchestra),
My first college application (Brown).
My first college acceptance (Drexel or Drew, don't remember which)
And my first love (SCBFF).

I'm sure there's
More to add onto
The list.

But my first omelet
With ham
Was delicious.



Explosions in the sky,
I've never seen so much color
Amidst so much smoke.

In a crowd
Of tens of thousands,
I've never felt
So close with my friends.

One rambunctious,
Outgoing person
Can bring people together.

I hope that
Everyone had a good
Fourth of July.


Afternoons in the Summer in NYC

Eating paninis...

Eating ice cream...

Reading books...

Sitting in a park...

Independence Day (R.P.)

Happy Independence Day, America!  Good job gaining independence in 1776 (well officially declaring it and then getting a war to make it official)

Photo credit: iStockPhoto


Not This Again

I hate roller coasters.
So much.

Maybe it's because of
The unbelievable heights
You go to
(And I'm really
Afraid of heights)
And then smash down
Into deep lows (really quickly).
The ascent is faster than
The fall.

And then it's over.

Where can I get off?

I thought I got off it.
But then I found my mind
Thinking about it.

So then I got right back on.

They say you
Have to put yourself
In situations
Where you face your
Fears and stuff like that.

I fear getting on
The rollercoaster.

I'm even more
Terrified of getting off
This stupid ride.

I just don't even
Want to think about it.

I should just get my puke
Bag on, get sick
For a bit
And feel better once it
Starts climbing again.


How I Feel

I'm feeling awful
Right now.

I remember a counselor
On teen tour saying
The psychological effects
Of technology.
How if your phone
Isn't beeping every
Few seconds,
You feel forgotten.

But that's not the point.

I feel pretty crappy
Right now
And it's totally
An internal thing.

A hormonal cleansing.

And everyone has
More important stuff
To deal with.
Like driving
And recovering
From break ups.

I'm not being condescending.
I shouldn't bother them.

Get Him to the Greek (M.R.)

Image credit: Boston Herald
This movie rules.  Honestly, in terms of sheer ridiculousness, it reaches Hangover status.  The humor keeps you interested, the music is amazing (even though Infant Snow is a fake band), and the characters are just great.

The humor is mostly drug and sex related.  But that keeps pervs like me and you awake during the movie.  What really caught my attention was that each scene seemed to have a joke attached to it.  Such as the bit with the airport, or when they are rendezvousing in the strip club.  The jokes did not flow as well, the movie took a bit to get started, but that is okay.

In Get Him to the Greek, Aaron Greene is given a career-changing and life-altering assignment to get washed-out rocker Aldous Snow to the Greek theater in Los Angeles.  As you can imagine, lots of crazy stuff happens.  But throughout their time together, lots of good music gets played in the movie.  All the songs are attributed to the band from the film, Infant Snow.  I wish they we were real.  My favorite song has to be "The Clap."  More music like that needs to be written.  Actually, there are many Brit-pop bands who write similar stuff.  Russell Brand works well as a frontman and singer.

One of the things that sold the movie for me were the characters.  As Aaron Greene, Jonah Hill plays the timid, music-nerd intern.  P. Diddy plays the CEO of Pinnacle records, which is not too far from the P. Diddy in real life.  Just the way Aaron Greene gets tossed around by the CEO and the rock star makes for great humor.  But how they all detox so quickly from Jeffrey and the other various drugs used in the film, I will never understand.

Get Him to the Greek has been a really fun romp.  I learned something from it: don't do drugs, kids.  They kill creativity.

Rating: 8/10


How a Fling Works

I dare you, say it.

"I l...
I luh...

Say it, I dare you.

"I luh...oovee...

Haha, it's okay.
I can't bring myself
To say it either.

I mean, that word
Usually comes up
In my mind's association
With someone else,
Someone I don't think
I've met yet, but
Not you.

That's okay.
We both know
The phrase burns holes
In our throat and our
Bad habits have done
Enough damage as it is.

But um, yeah.
I think if we averaged
Out how much we care
About each other, it's
Possibly a 3.
Because there's 2 points
For caring because we're human
Beings and one because
We're friends, I guess?

Either way...
Current goal: have fun.
The feelings can
Come much later
With people who are
Better for both of us.