He Wants To Love Me Woo-ooh

So I'm at Brown. Still. I feel so disgustingly sluggish. Like, I should be doing something way more productive but I'm sitting here in a bubble of body image problem and I'm basically panicking that I gained about 10 pounds and 7 inches. It's gross.

But ever since Sunday, I've been spending much time on campus with my friends, wandering around, being loud, laughing at dumb stuff, having energy drink parties, having these deep-ass conversations I doubt I can have with anyone else I know (besides One Guy) and missing dinner almost every day.

And one of my friends is really negative and almost as randomly-hating-on-people as I am. And I'm actually sort of mad at a lot of people back home. Like, I understand that Papaya hasn't been talking to me because she's touring the world and having fun. But almost everyone else doesn't do shit. Or won't be doing shit until mid-July. And NO, I won't contact you first because I always do the fucking work in most of my interactions with other humans. I just hate being the one waiting at the phone. Or constantly checking my email. Or facebook.

In spite of all this ranting, I'm having fun...



Holy Fucking Waffles

So I LOVE BROWN. AND MY FRIENDS. AND...did I mention I love my friends? They're so fucking cute together it's like an Old-Gregg-funk-ball of cuteness. Yeah, like today they had their first date...I mean I was there, but they were so cool about it.

In the past few days, I've been in an anatomy lab, grew penis-worms, went to my first hot topic, and been staying out until like 11. The anatomy lab was freaking creepy, like...you know that M. Night Shyamalan movie? I saw dead people. At least their faces were covered so it wasn't as awkward.

Hot Topic has lots of really cute clothes, like this tub top I got. It's great. And Kat Von D is my idol.


First Two Days At Brown

I'm not going to write these in poetic form since that takes too much effort and I probably should be doing my homework right now for my two biology courses. Sounds rough? Probably. I like my professors though, they're super enthusiastic in their own ways. The stem cell dude provides lots of examples and really knows his subject. Biomedeng lady is really young-adult-friendly, I guess, because she tries to get us interested...sort of like my old bio teacher back at Joyola.

The people here are super nice though. Spike and Live are really cool. Live actually lives not that far from me, but Spike lives in...boondocks Maryland. But I've met a few other cool people and my roommate is really chilled out. Yeah, city kids! =]

I feel like so many people here are either from NJ, CA, or some other country. But they are so nice, like that girl who knows Spike who came up to us at breakfast.

Speaking of breakfast, the food here is INCREDIBLE! I love it. I mean, last night there wasn't much of a variety, but this morning there was so much food. I made myself a pb&j sandwich and it was good...even though the bread had this weird green stuff on it...don't know why.


Habe Keine Lust (I Don't Feel Like It)

Ever get the feeling
That you just want to lie
Down and just lie there
In your postrate stance
And just watch the world go by you
Until everything is okay?

Or rather,
Until everything was like
It was a year ago?
With a lovely status quo
And lovely everything
Where you didn't have
To feel crappy a lot?

And when The Airborne Toxic Event
Didn't write that song
That makes you cry by the first refrain.


People's Misplace Priorities

I find it really amusing
How the media makes
More of a big deal
About Obama swatting
A fly
Than they do about
His policies.

It's kind of really
Messed up.

Just like dating someone
For their crazy antics
Without looking at
What they could mean for you...

Yeah, life is awkward.


Old Friends

It's really bizarre meeting up
With someone that you haven't
Seen since about freshman year.

There's so much to catch up on,
But nothing to talk about.
Since there's so much to catch up
You don't know where to start
And you don't want to bother.

Because there's so much.

If only school were the same way
When a student misses half a quarter
Worth of work.


Tackling Multiple Languages

I have too many goals.
The one I seem to focus on
A lot on my blog
Is the goal to be skinny
Or at least curvy
Like a stripper.

But my other goals
To be fluent in many languages
And to become a pharmacist.

So far I'm working on German.
In addition to Spanish.

Und ich spreche nicht gut Deutsche...
Aber ich lerne die Landesspreche.


Do as You Please, Please as You Do

People in the subway,
Are interesting to say the least.

Like that Christian guy that's always trying to
Get people to read the Bible.

It's nice to see people have some conviction
About what they believe in.

But the guy that sat next to me
Who the Christian guy addressed was interesting too.

He had some conviction too
And pretty laid back.

Subways are fun sometimes.
Not at 10:30 though.


College Tour Summary

So I haven't been online all week due to ACT and college tour, which lasted all 5 days. But it was fun. I had roomies I liked: Grandson, Sheltered, and Staff of Kings (S.o.K.). I mean, sure, our air conditioning unit got high and our room smelled like smoke, the shower situation kind of sucked, but the nail salon on the last night was fun and it made the trip worth it.

Honestly, I did not find many colleges I liked. I loved Brown U, BU, Stonehill and Trinity College. Brown I've loved for a while and the others are like "stupid" schools according to my mom. But Trinity has no core, Stonehill is gorgeous, and BU has everything I want and the tour guides sounded so enthusiastic. Like, they sounded as if they LOVED their school and that's how I want to feel about my college. It's so weird.

And the tour ended on a bit of a downer. We had finished watching...wait for it...The Notebook. Yes, The Notebook. After watching fun movies like Mean Girls and 007 Casino Royale. Most of the bus bawled at the end. The guys thought it was silly, but I came out of the movie a bit upset. Like, the ending was so depressing and not in that "aw they both died" way. It really goes to show that nothing lasts forever. The couple broke up 3 times before the movie ended. And you might cite only two, but the third occurred with the woman's dementia. Can't even remember being with the other person? And it makes me so sad. Like, I want to think one true love relationship can last forever...not the what I call fake marriages where the parents are together for the kids or for money or for some other reason than loving each other...God, I'm being emo.

And One Guy is prolly reading this and thinking that he needs to work harder or something and babe, you don't. You really don't. I just hope we can make it passed the 3-month threshhold that seems to bind my relationships.

We're at about a month now, right?


Am I Just Odd?

So I told my parents
That I want a guitar.
An electric guitar.
And they suggested I
Get an acoustic-electric
Or an acoustic all together.

I don't want an acoustic though.
Sure, they sound gorgeous
When you play them.
My dad reasoned that you
Could take it places with you
When there's no plug.

But there's something about
Carrying an acoustic guitar
With you to places
Basically implies that
A) You're pretty good.
B) You can sing
C) You can sing and play guitar.

I can sing and play bass.
Just not in front of people.

And I was never much of a performer.
And I don't really like acoustics to
Begin with, even though you're
Supposed to start off on one.

...Wow that was pointless.


[Insert 3oh!3 Lyrics Here]

My birthday was awesome
Even though people came late
And a form of entertainment
That's really fun didn't arrive until later.

What's funny is that
My So-Called Best Friend (SCBFF)
Actually remembered that it was my birthday
Which was weird.
I didn't expect it.

I also didn't expect the
United States History SAT II
To be so difficult this morning.
I thought I prepared so well...
Guess not.

My gifts for my birthday are cool too
And having three events to go to
Three days in a row is interesting too.
First Crane's graduation,
Then my birthday,
Then Fabulous' and her cousin's birthday "linner."

And then college tour on Monday.
What joy.


Not the Birthday Post

That comes later.
But allergies suck.
I really hope my nose stops running
And I sound less of a smoker by like
Two PM when people start coming over.

And I have to study for SAT IIs and stuff like that.


OMGBBQWTF? [kinda gross if you get the symbolism]

Fucking suck. It's like a vicious cycle
That won't ever stop.
You feel uplifted
But then you crash,
Like leaving your favorite trophy
For display at wild party.

And no one seems to care
About your blood phobia
Especially when you wake up
And your sheets are fucking wet.
You realize how bright your sheets look
When paired with red.

Why did you have to find it?
Why did you have to question me?
Where the fuck am I?
What the fuck's going on?
There's no where else to hide,
There's no where to hide,
Because my friends won't hide me.

I appreciate the concern,
But my parents kind of hate you now
And I really will never understand them.
And I would have taken it
Even if you
Weren't in the picture.
I'm over it.
But everyone seems to think they
Know exactly how I feel.

I got freaked out this morning.
My head is fucking hurting,
I don't what else to say,
Except for my motto:

What the fuck?
Oh, what the fuck is going on?


Can't Touch Me

I feel like everyone is having a mini
Atomic bomb explosion in their lives.
And there's me
And that One Guy,
Standing in what seems a fallout shelter.

But I want to be there for everyone.
But does that make me nice?
Or a pushover?
I don't know.
And I don't care.

I say that a lot,
But people never think I mean it.
I do.
I really truly do.
I don't care what people think.
As long as people are happy.
With some happiness leftover for myself.