10/31/2011

The Makings of a Bad Day

Taken from myheartishoney
Well, you started sleeping when you should have already started a R.E.M. and had another fucked up dream about running away from finely dressed hipsters trying to beat you up for no reason.  But it's not your fault you had too much fun Saturday night and matched your boyfriend's sleep cycle on Sunday.  But so you jump out of bed at 6:30 to pick courses but first the perfect breakfast needed to be made.  So as you try to delicately balance a mug, a plastic can of granola, a container yogurt, and a bowl, you drop the mug and the bowl and both  shatter on the carpet in front of your room.  So you go back, frustrated and sad, and make yourself that breakfast.  But the blueberries and strawberries don't taste quite as magically as you wished they would, but screw it, you have classes to enroll for.  And that process, as usual, takes about an hour of refreshing the page, relogging in, losing spots in classes, and not having enough time afterwards to sleep in a little.  So you're tired and trying to stay away from coffee to keep awake.  And then you also realize how much work you need to get done because you're losing your weekend to your boyfriend.  And then you realize he might not be coming in the middle of the math problem set due tomorrow.  And that's when it all settles in.

10/26/2011

What to Do When Waiting For Emails

Taken from poeticheartache 
So you're in the library not for the reason of studying but because you are too lazy to carry around a laptop, so you borrow a library laptop which seem to be of higher efficiency and quality than yours at home.  And being that you need said laptop, you need it to confirm meetings with professors because it somehow slipped your silly little mind that you have grade report.  But luckily, you remembered with enough time to get that form signed.  And handed in.  And for life to be good.  So what do you in between emails?

Check social networking.

Look for that one missing article that you need to complete the quad of articles required for your nutritional science term paper, which, by the way, you need an amazing grade on.

You recalculate your grades, just to make sure what appears on that form looks good and that you are on the right track for getting out of the college that's been giving you so much misery this past year.

You read interestingly written articles on Thought Catalog.

You wonder if you should get that cookie.

And if the person does not respond quickly, you go to your class and stalk the teacher that you need a grade from.

10/23/2011

My Biggest Insecurity

Taken from tiamo-bella
I generally come off as a pretty secure girl.  I usually don't complain about my body, nor am I usually jealous of other girls.  But there's one thing that makes me cringe and hide.  I wish I had smooth skin on my legs.  And no, I'm not talking dimple, cellulite-free legs that grace the legs of models and celebrities.  I could care less about having those.  I want rash and hive-free legs.  Legs that aren't cut-up looking and red.  I want the pale, beautiful legs I have.  They're the right shape, but not to right texture and color.  And it makes me so sad.  Because it's kind of repulsive.  Or at least I see it as such.  Unless that diseased look is in right now.  Which I doubt.

Ten Reasons Why He's My Favorite (N.a.P.)

Taken from sunshinerosepetal
There comes a time in every relationship when you're mad a your other or they're mad at you or something is just going horrifically wrong and you find yourself in the fetal position contemplating every way you could fix it.  That was me last weekend.  And this weekend, everything seems to be working.  He calls me.  We skyped earlier today even.  I saw his face and got really giddy and excited.  But I can't just be giddy and excited when I see him.  I need to be excited most of the time.  Until he actually does something to hurt me.  So since I'm bored and romantic-y, here are ten reasons why Tim is still my favorite.

1. We can watch the same bizarre television shows together.  He likes South Park, I love it.  Almost every show he shows me, I enjoy.  Right now, I'm checking out Arrested Development because it's one of his favorites.  And we have similar humor.  I mean, sure, it's hard to get a guy to like My Little Pony or The Vampire Diaries, but he's slowly starting to accept that it makes me cheerful and it's going to be a topic in conversation.

2. He's soft-spoken.  He's one of those guys that you never would have guessed had an awesome personality if you didn't make the first steps and started talking to him.  That's kind of the story of me and him.  And I'm so glad I kind of creepily clung to him after that one lunch with friends from class.  But he's really shy and it's pretty endearing.  And, this will sound awful, makes me feel comfortable that me and him share this secret of his personality and that I won't have to compete for attention--either from him or other people.

3. We listen to the same music.  Like, exactly the same music.  I show him an indie band, he shows me techno and our musical tastes are both enriched by the exchange.  We go to concerts together, have a great time, and then sit on stoops and talk about how good it was.  We've done this three times so far.  And each concert gets better.

4. He's there for me when I need him.  Sure, last weekend and the days leading up that was an issue, but there are countless times when something at a party or hang out went totally wrong and for some reason or other, I'm scared or in tears and he's there.  He's on the phone, taking a break from his party until I feel better.

5. The way he makes me laugh.  Usually when he writes something funny, it's gut-wrenching laughter.  The most recent I can think of is everytime I say something like "I miss your face."  And he responds with "me too."  And I'm like "damn, boy."  And he says "Yep, I miss my face all the time."  And then we laugh and endorphines are released and life is good.  He's a pretty funny dude, but see point number 2.

6.  He enjoys my baking.  I haven't baked a nonvegan pastry in forever.  And now that I have to eat mostly gluten-free, the Babycakes pastry book has been overly convenient.  And most people like their pastries to be milk-full and egg-full.  But he enjoys mine.  And there's no more awesome feeling in regards to cooking when the person you're dating, who you spend time baking and planning meals for, enjoys eating them.

7. The way we snuggle.  Not going to lie, the first time I went to sleepover at his room in Poland, I was worried snuggling might be uncomfortable.  He's six feet tall and is a bean pole.  But he is just so much taller and longer than I that he basically forms a crescent around my small frame.  And he just holds me so close.  Like, I can feel his chin on my shoulder.  The best feeling: when he kisses my shoulder before falling asleep and upon waking.  It's just so comforting and I can't wait to enjoy it in two weeks.

8.  He's a computer science major, I suck at computer science, and we get along perfectly.  People have asked us what we talk about.  But there are things pertaining to majors, such as future plans, that transcend dislike and disinterest.  And honestly, I find it completely adorable when he gushes over his computer architecture class.

9. He lets us do our own thing.  He likes driving around with his friends, I like watching hulu with mine.  He goes to parties, I stay in and watch shows and blog.  We totally respect each other's time spending.  As long as some contact is maintained.  Like, when we party, we call each other to feel like we're enjoying the experience together.  And we giggle at the silly things that are happening and it isn't too obnoxious.  Except for when we get to the slurry part.  Then it gets completely obnoxious.  And now to round out the list...

10. He is really attractive.  What can I say?  Like most normal girlfriends,  I am attracted to my boyfriend.  He's tall, lean, handsome, has gorgeous eyes, and a great personality.  What's not to like?

10/19/2011

Weirdest Feeling of Nostalgia

Taken from sunshinerosepetal
Today, for the first time ever, I ate at a dining hall all by myself.  As in, I went in by myself and sat by myself.  I did not meet any of my friends there.  And it was weird.  Mostly because I felt totally out of place as a sophomore who does not live on North campus going to a freshman dining hall.  I did not even eat at that dining hall all too often.  But the meal I had was just such a staple that I couldn't help be brought back to the few times I ate there.  But I got most nostalgia from the freshman.  Saving between six and twelve seats at a table for them and all their friends.  Screaming at each other.  Talking about all the gossip in their social circles.  I know those things aren't unique to freshman, but they are definitely definitive of freshman.  And to complete my freshman-year dining experience, I got food poisoning.  Which makes my food poisoning count at Cornell, four.

10/15/2011

Glamourized

Taken from deciso 
Thought Catalog makes everything sound so profound and pretty.  Maybe it's the power in the words, or the actual content, but everything just sounds so good.  And emotional things, even something mild like the ritual of getting ready for a Friday night can sound profound and beautiful.  I wish I could write like that.

I want to make the way I'm feeling like something brokenly beautiful.  Like there's something glamorous about sitting in on a Saturday night, reading your psychology like it's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and remembering as many details of both books.  My phone's off so even if there were more exciting things happening tonight, I'm wholly unaware.  I'll just pretend I'm content watching South Park and reading psych.  Because it's the only emotionally-neutral thing I'm doing tonight.  Besides, you know, trying to not think about the fact that my boyfriend hasn't reached out to me in a day.  Or has been acting like much of a boyfriend in general.  I need to disappear so he can remember me.  But maybe he won't.  I don't think he will.  And that's what I have to ignore.  And the writers of Thought Catalog would make this sound a whole lot more fucking beautiful.

10/12/2011

Like a Dumbass

Taken from myheartishoney:
Am I the only one who does not have a lot due, but has a lot to do?  I'm laying in bed sick, under my covers, with my Yelling Bird in my arms, wishing for the self-imposed workload to go away and my sickness to go away so I can go back to being productive, fun and awesome.  I have tutoring and a meeting tomorrow, and feeling slightly unprepared for both.  I mean, can you get tutoring for just derping on tests?  Knowing answers, writing wrong ones, showing a total disconnect between knowledge and testing.  Second half of the semester is a new half of the semester, right?

10/02/2011

This October

Taken from myheartishoney
I want you in my arms for more than a day.  Can you be there for two days?  Can I be in your arms for some of the days?  We can share a bed together and be in each other's arms.  And then we can get all bundled up and share some coffee from Stella's while holding hands, finding a bench or something to sit on.  I just want to see my favorite.  Why do I have to wait so long?  I mean, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes the heart get a slight case of the aches.  Or maybe that's just it pounding from the current stress.  But I just want to see you a lot.  Maybe even go to a Halloweekend party together.  In something really cute and matchy...but I don't think you want to.  Have matching costumes, I mean.  I should you want to see me.