Being There

Taken from *✩ C Ɛ L L A R W H O R Ɛ ✩*

They're there.

They don't change.

You can rename it and it'll still have the same function.

And I want one.

There was just something about last night that was horrifically out of place.

Except for me.

I was "the chill one."

Maybe because I don't have beef with other people.

Just myself.

And at a party, to dilute awkwardness,

I kind of have to be civil with her otherwise.


Attraction Off

Taken from party rehab
I danced with boys last night.  Like, two or three boys.  By the second one, I realized that I am not into them.  Not them as in that guy.  Just guys in general.  I just turned into a thoroughly unattracted human being.  One of them kissed me and that was when I knew I needed out.  Maybe this crisis won't happen tonight.  Maybe it will.  Like my friend said "Let's go wherever the night takes us."



Taken from *The stars that shine for you ...*
I've never seen someone in so much pain from working out.  I've never seen someone so tiny, so desperately wanting to cry.  I thought it was just a thing in small towns where people somehow succumb to external beauty pressures more easily than others.  I thought it was just a thing kept under wraps.  I never thought I'd witness it myself.  Maybe the girl likes working out to the point that her body just gets locked in workout.  But I doubt it.  Doing anything that looks so painful for so long cannot be healthy at all.



Taken from party rehab
Prelims are over.  So some fun should begin.

If there were any providers of fun, that is.


Tested Out

Taken from the pursuit of happyness
Two prelims in one day.  I want to say never again, but it's inevitably going to happen again.  I want to say never again as I tend to say to a lot of things in life.  But it happens.  Just one more test to go.  And then I am test-free until the next round of tests.


Pretty. Candid.

Taken from p.heartache
I lied down in bed last night
And I think I finally died this time.

Not from physical wounds
But emptiness in my mind.

But I think it was just me going numb
From the fact that my heat shut off.

And so I closed my eyes.

And all I felt was the tightness in my chest
And the coldness on my cheeks.

Make time for me.

Somebody please,
I want to be held,
To be kept warm.

And give me false promises
That's it's all going to be just fine.

Make time for me,
Make time for me.

Everyone's busy, so
I don't want to be an inconvenience.


"Need a Lover Who Is Smarter Than Me"

Taken from Popsicle-Stick Twiggy!
Lyrics in title are from "Drunk Girls" by LCD Soundsystem

I hung out last night
With a bunch of good friends.

And we drank
Some wine and started watching Star Trek

But I
Was unusually tired

And then
My friend and his girl were snuggling together

And I
Wanted someone to snuggle with.

I'm at another party.

To boys who won't remember my face

And then
I'll hang with my other friends
And I won't have time to snuggle with anyone.

I want a night spent doing wholesome things
Like reading
Or snuggling
While listening to music.

But  most boys
Would not ever agree with me.

We could sit around for hours and hours.

Say we're doing work but actually talking

About stuff
And ideas
And nonsensical things.


First Spring-y Day in Ithaca (B.O.A.)

The weather was freaking AWESOME yesterday.  Minus the wind.  But still, the sun was shining, no one needed to wear a heavy coat, and it was pretty warm.

The jacket is from UrbanOutfitters, the pants from American Eagle, the shoes from Steve Madden, shirt from American Apparel, and the necklace I got as a gift.


In On Thursday

Taken from life is wine
I'm in on Thursday tonight.  I'm never in on Thursday.  But I need it.  I need to run some errands.  I need to run some programs.  I need to watch a movie.  I need to do work.  I don't need to go out.


Functioning a Bit

Taken from *✩ C Ɛ L L A R W H O R Ɛ ✩*
I want to sleep.  I want to not worry about stuff.  I want to sleep some more.  I want prelims to be over.  And most of all I want to sleep,


Doing Nothing

Taken from Paper Tissue.
It is
Once again
5 A.M. on a Tuesday and I am sitting reading my biology textbook.

I was doing work for most hours
Of the day yesterday.

I feel like I'm living the day
Of a middle-aged office worker.

Wake up.
Morning routine.
Go to work.
Get home.
Be exhausted.
Go to bed.

I'm too young to be at this stage
Of not doing anything.
Of being too busy to do aything
Of emotional consequence
In a non-party, non-weekend setting.


Single Awareness Day

Taken from The Stalker Blog
It's important to do nice things for yourself every once in a while.  Such as today, I wore a dress my mother had bought me and it flows so artsy and looks so pretty.  It's also nice to spend time with people you want to spend time with and eat things you want to eat.  All things you can do while single.  But I think why people put so much emphasis on relationships and love is because it ultimately leads to the continuation of the human race.  Well, not in all cases, but a lot of cases.  And that's pretty important.


Dressed Up and Tidy

Taken from hey there beautiful
I do things because I want to.  If I actually want to get my hair all nice and straight for a party, I'll do it.  If I want to get all dressed up and cute, I will.  Although, that I'll do mostly because the occasion calls for it.  I'll wear heels or sneakers as I please.  Tonight's going to be totally informal.  Because I want it to be.  Although, I do things like tidy up my room in hopes that I'll get a visitor.  And my room is fucking spotless right now.


"'Why Do You Waste My Time?' Is the Answer"

Taken from life is wine
Lyrics in title taken from Sam's Town by the Killers

I've been dreaming of texts
Every night this week.

I've awoken at night in a panic
Worrying I've sent the wrong one
To the right person, or
The right one to the wrong person.

So I check my phone.
And I haven't sent anything.

So I go back to sleep, just
To do something wrong again.

So much pun.


This Was Gonna Be a Happy Post Too

Taken from womp, hello.
I woke up yesterday
With every intention of having the best day ever.

Maybe not the best day,
But a day when nothing particularly bad happened.

It was good when I had coffee with Buttface.

It was good when I had actually done well on a quiz.

It was good when I had a lot of fun in lab.

It was good when I played Capture the Flag with the co-op.

And then it got really good.

But the really good got taken away almost
As soon as I got it.
And the rest didn't seem to matter as much.


General Tiredness's Food

Taken from Kristen
Hanging out until 10.
Waking up at 5 to do work.
Busy all day long.

I'm caffeinated to the point
That any more will make me tired.

And I'm in so much physical pain
That the weekend in bed sounds like the best thing ever
Right now.


A Day at a Time, I Guess

Taken from iheart-myself
I know it's true that the number on a scale means a lot less than how a person looks on the outside.  But when clothes don't fit and rip and tear, the number seems to matter and it makes you feel crappy when it does.  Of course, I mean, I have other things to worry about, such as my epic computer fail and how I have so many things to attend and so much homework to attend to.  But the most immediate things seem to matter more.  And half the time, solutions don't come until a few days later.


Snow Days, Snow Nights

Taken from PaperTissue.
The snow globe effect.
As I call it.

When the snow is huge
And lumpy
And just sort of wafts down.

Like a dropped feather
Or a tissue in the wind.

And all snowglobes have a scene in them.

Ours would be a night scene of
Yes, we are children...
Running down a hill, sledding,
Laughing, yelling,
Falling, and having fun.



Taken from http://handwritinggonthewall.tumblr.com/
The most random things are inconvenient.
Like opening doors.
Like eating.
Like writing.
Like shaking hands.
Like hugging.
Like a bunch of other stuff.


Pain In Finger, Make Me Cry

Taken from http://elixirdeglamour.tumblr.com/
Why does everything fun generally end in injury?  I went sledding...and now I want to cry a lot.  I can't write, I can't really get dressed...oh boy...


A Change of Luck

Taken from the pursuit of happyness
She woke up in the morning feeling kind of crappy.  She felt full, bloated, and just generally uncomfortable.  But then she went to the gym and the next morning, her legs hurt.  She then witnessed a riot-filled snow ball fight which the police broke up.

But, as if some force in the universe was finally on her side, sent someone she fancied to her biology lab.  And they walked and talked.  And she got super excited.


Second Monday of Class (B.O.A.)

I decided to get dressed all nice for class because I could.  The sweater I bought in Peru, the tank top from Esprit, the jeans from American Eagle, the boots from Steve Madden and the hat is from Diesel.  I got good reviews on the outfit.

Have a good day!


Down Time

Taken from *✩ C Ɛ L L A R W H O R Ɛ ✩*
I threw myself into work
And school
And I feel myself hitting a wall.

Not a wall, more like the floor.

After sliding down a flight of stairs.
And injuring my back.

I have to be careful not to crash and burn.