A Disappointment Orange

Taken from musicalldaykeepsthebadmoodaway
Second book of my "I need to read more" project and holy God, was I disappointed.  I am also disappointed that it is also only book two of the project.  But this one, wow.  A Clockwork Orange was a book I thought and people have told me I would really like.  But in fact, it was difficult to read, hard to get through, and as with most classics, not much really happens.  I know this sounds like I just hate books that would be assigned in an English class, but I should not have to need urban dictionary to look up half the terms and then guess what they mean based on context or my knowledge of Slavic languages.  And I understand that it was to distance Alex from the audience because he is a psychopath, but at the same time, it did not enhance the reading experience for me.  Now I want to watch the movie so hopefully this book can redeem itself, but frankly, books should stand on their own.


The Pace of "I Need to Get Home"

Taken from t0psshop
There's a certain speed at which one walks when trying to get home.  You walk a little faster.  Maybe because you're trying to avoid people.  Maybe you're trying to not have people realize you're going home by yourself because no one lives in your direction.  Maybe you're bed is just so comfy you can't wait to return to it's welcoming, sheet-arms.  That's usually my reason.  My other reason is when I'm wearing an outfit I don't feel 100-percent in because OH NO, MY MIDRIFF IS SHOWING AND I DON'T HAVE A SIX-PACK so I wanted to get home as soon as possible to get away from meanies. And it was interesting because the girls didn't care.  It was the boys that were all snarky.  And it felt really mean because they were just calling me out because, sorry I don't look like your dream girl or the girlfriend you have who has a goddess body from jogging the second the weather is over 40 degrees.  There's nothing wrong with being that kind of girl.  There's something wrong with being openly mean to a girl who isn't/  I don't complain about my figure and I just want to be happy. And sure, I am guilty of thinking and expressing to be near me of critiquing a girl's outfit that isn't quite one hundred percent for her.  But I won't call her out on it because I don't know her.  Or maybe it's confidence booster for her.  Because you never know how someone is feeling unless you've been there.  So to the jerk on the street, thank you for making me want to crawl up in sweatpants and do pushups and situps all day.  I definitely can do more than you anyway and you're going to make me strongly, so screw you.


That Little Bit of Hope

Taken from just-the-way-you-arent
So I got my second physics prelim back and it wasn't pretty.  I didn't do as magically as I had hoped after the second physics prelim last semester.  And the funny thing was, I wasn't too upset this time.  I was mostly fine.  Maybe just a little disappointed that I didn't do better at all.

But I have this nagging feeling that it will all work out, mostly on the precedent that everything is so wonderful now.  My grades are better.  Not great, but they are definitely getting better.  I have a boyfriend who loves my scent and my presence and is probably one of the most supportive people I know right now (and I have plenty of those).

So I guess it'll all be fine.


A Growing Thought

Taken from nocturnalwishes
The more I draw, the more I color, and the more I sketch, the more I realize why don't I actually do something with this?  But that takes years of practice and connections and my only relations are in the working world and the realm of science.  And those kind of jive, but not really.  People become so shocked to discover that I can be creative, at times, more creative than the creative ones.  So why don't I do something?  I don't want dental appointments to be life-altering decisions or having to give up grocery shopping for rent.  Or things like that which happen to most budding artists.  But then again, who's to say my scientific pursuits will lead me to comfort?