Not Having It

Taken from la dolce vita
He comes from across the hall with all the charisma in the world and your dance moves are completely in sync with mine. So I reciprocate a bit.  Not too much, but just enough for us to be established as dancing partners.

But then your face gets too close to mine and I dance away, breaking our bond of jumping and swinging.

Another he comes from across the hall with a little less charisma, but he's a friend.  So as friends we dance and as friends, we dance and communicate, though we're not quite in sync.

But then his face gets too close to mine and I dance away, breaking the friendship for a split second



Taken from the pursuit of happyness
It's so warm out.  So warm that even though I can wear pants again, I can't.  I'll feel too sticky.  And I generally like my body.  Especially my legs.  They're strong.  They can handle 20 pounds on each side of a workout bar.  They can do 25 pound squats.  I feel strong.  But I don't feel so good when I see other people in their not-pants.  But I also try to ignore it.  The people who think I'm cute, already think I'm cute. And if people want to judge.  Well, let them.  They're bored.


It's So Close

Taken from perfectly composed brokeness
The year is almost over. I can relax and take as many aromatic baths a day as I want.  I can walk around and take pictures all I want.  I can finally get rid of this heavy, heavy burden of stress.  I can enjoy the moments I get to myself.  But what I won't be able to do until August would be to see my friends.  So I am enjoying their presence now.


Awkward Smiles

Taken from la dolce vita
I could choose to write about more serious things.  But I don't.  I want to write about how giddy that boy makes me.  The feeling of I want to smile so much that my mouth hurts everywhere and you can see my teeth and stuff.  Yeah, that kind of feeling.  And ugh, we don't do anything.  We go to each other's events and sit and study in the engineering building that will be slightly foreign to me soon.  I guess my academic direction is slightly falling apart, but at least one thing is going well.  And I just want to be fucking giddy.  Like a hamster with a sunflower seed.  Or a girl with a crush.


It Happened

Taken from p.heartache
You know that breakdown I was talking about a few weeks ago?
Where I lose it just enough to seem fine to everyone?

It happened.

And there was nothing poetic or beautiful about it.

It was just a lonely college freshman girl walking home from a party because she drank and got a mildly upset stomach, which is usually an indicator of emotion trial.

And what a struggle it was.

The hammer of everything that isn't working out
Right now came down hard
And instead of ringing with a clap,
Tears came out of my eyes and my head hurts as if that mallet actually hit me across the face.

I'm getting pushed down again.
Shoved down.
And knocked over at the slight
Hope of getting up.

I tried coming up with a counter argument.

Just because I might not get to do what I want,
Maybe the alternative is better?

I didn't go to the college of my dreams.
Is the alternative better?
I don't think it wants me here.
The people at it do (I think, I hope, I want)
But it seems to be doing everything to drive me away.

I do everything right, but everything goes wrong.
And I just want a neutral day tomorrow.

Oh wait,
Matlab test.

One thing that will either get rid of or enhance the reality that
Nothing seems to be going right.



Taken from life is wine
Ever feel like if you had infinite time and infinite effort, things still wouldn't work out?  I want my hours back.  I want that entire night back.  I don't care that I spent it with a boy I really like.  I would've if it had results.  I could've not studied for that test and still gotten the same result.  What's the point of formulating exams and assigning practice problems that are totally unrelated?  And you just completely want to give up because that's the test you had most time to study for and the only thing you know about the others is that they will suck.  The most depressing statement ever is that I can start to see why people would want to give up completely and hurl themselves into a gorge.  This is not to say that I want to do that, but I can see why.  You work and you work and you get no results.  Hours wasted.  You feel like you know things, but you don't.  You simply don't.  You don't know them in the way the professor expects you to.  And I want to give up, so badly.  Just to stop and just plow through everything.  But goddammit, I've gone through my entire life so far not getting what I want, and if I don't fucking get my major, I don't know what I'll do.  And I'm not going to let a bunch of little questions deter me.  Even though this is the hardest thing I've had to do yet.


The Atrium At Night

Taken from p.heartache

It was so quiet.  Like, hearing a pin-drop status.  It was me, him, and 3 other people.  Silently doing work.  Until the wee hours of the morning...that's a lie.  Into the next day.  I slept some.  He slept none.  And the work still doesn't end.  And all I want is a nap.



Taken from the pursuit of happyness
I've been learning a lot from hanging out with Buttface.  We do things that I should be able to do with someone I'm dating.  Like be totally open with each other.  Cook together.  Go food shopping together.  Nice things like that.  Watching tv while eating together.  I am setting high standards for my next boyfriend.  If that ever happens.


The Only Way Out Is To Get In

Taken from the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste.
I changed my ways a bit this semester.
I got my priorities in line.

I stopped being so kissably loose.
I decided to let myself shine more
And not let my lips meet someone
Else's on a whim.

And I'm as lonely now as I was then.

But I guess it's a more genuine type of lonely.

No one is lying that they want to spend time with me.
Because no one is spending time with me.

But I'm also not allotted much time
For spending exclusive time with someone.

I guess I want quality over quantity.
Where you don't have to be
Communicating every second
Of your life to feel like
You care about that person.

But I can't waste time feigning
Over something that won't happen.

Instead of waiting for a dude to give me
What I want,
I think I'll just go out into the campus
And find a dude who will.


Hanging Out, Doing Work

Taken from $$
I like us when we hang out.  It's fun, it's awesome.  There's some contention, but you can't expect two people who are under boulders and boulders of stress to be totally calm and understanding with each other.  But you can expect them to at least get along to the point that the frustration doesn't make one or the other walk out.  And you can expect some laughter during the pauses and lots of chill time, just enjoying each other's company.


Sucker Punch (M.R.)

Taken from The State Of Happiness :)
First off, it is not some movie intended just for dorky kids wanting to see scantily-dressed girls fight off demons with swords and guns.  I mean, that is an element, but Sucker Punch is not for everyone.  For an action movie, it's got quite a bit of depth.  I think a more accurate description would be "Inception featuring scantily-clad girls fighting off demons with swords and guns."

I really wanted to think this movie was based off something.  A book, a graphic novel, a video game...something!  But the beauty of it was that it wasn't.  Sure, it took action and stylistic motifs from all those media, but that's what made the movie so interesting to watch.  The costumes were amazing and each character had a distinct style.  The only ones fully developed were Baby Doll, Sweet Pea, and Rocket, but it's difficult to do that in a 1.5-hour time-span.

The plot was really substantial for an action movie.  There were so many layers that just made it interesting.  A mental institution, a brothel, and a video game.  I approved of it greatly.  Zach Snyder's talent in movie-making seems to come from the fact that he can make pretty obvious breaks between the action and more sentimental bits of a movie (like in Watchmen).

In short, I thought this movie was excellent and good time.  It takes you on an adrenaline-filled, emotional rollercoaster.  And covers a lot of issues.  Plus, who wouldn't want to see girls beat up stuff?  In addition, it has inspired me to get fit (and maybe possibly acquire the ability to dead lift my weight [no big deal]).

Rating: 9/10


Your Face

Taken from :1 of 67
I want to kiss it.  As I tend to add, everywhere.  Like all over your face.  Maybe not all over, but on most of it.  And I hope you want to kiss mine.  I know I've been super restrained and stuff because normally, I am a lot more forward and flirtier, but I don't want to scare you away.  I don't want to seem distant.  So I will try to kiss your face.  Be ready!