Tool Academy 303 (T.V.C.)

Wow...major editing fail. I just want to say, I had no idea what was going on this episode, until after the commercials when they took time to explain what just happened.

But hot damn, tempers were FLYING. I don't think people on this show have been this angry yet. Daniel and Lesley need to chill out. Sure, he had a fit of jealousy, but she launched at him like a spider monkey. I don't think it's ever justified for a girl to leap at her guy like that. And he dumped her. If she acted out like that every time they argued, I can see why. Even though he is a bit childish.

I was a bit disappointed that Jacob didn't get eliminated. He doesn't do anything. Neither does his girlfriend. It's just annoying how quick he is to jump at other people.

I felt the worst for Kourtney. I can totally relate to her issues. I thought it was totally...disrespectful for that one woman to call her a man with a vagina. That was rude on so many levels. I am not saying this just because she is a lesbian and I am justifying her behavior, but that was a really low blow.

Next week's episode is going to be bizarre. Tools having fun; girls arguing and throwing drinks at each other. What. The...?


...not telling which one =] You have to wait for June to find out. But one of my friends already knows.

But the dress looks perfect on me...even though my mom is all like "you need to lose some pounds." I know, mom, I know. xD


What I Wore Today (B.O.A.)

Today was my friend Chelsea's birthday and before I went to it, I wore an awesome outfit that I would like to share. I wore a plaid vest by Esprit, a white tee from American Apparel, and awesome jeans from American Eagle. I need to get someone to take my pics for me because awkward angles aren't fun.

Besides that, the birthday party was AWESOME =] I suck at bowling, meaning that I am the coolest. Because, apparently, there are no cool bowlers. No offense to anyone.

Prom Dress Shopping Part Deux(B.O.A.)

So I went dress shopping today. On my second snow day this year. Snow and dress shopping seemed to go together. Anyway, I went to RK Bridal this time because they have a large selection of dresses. I saw so many that were cute, I spent almost 2 hours trying on dresses. The consultant I worked with was really nice and she could totally relate to the whole "mom needs to approve of the dress" thing since she's a mother. Some prom dresses on the market are way too cut-out. Like asking, "WHERE did the dress go?!" Anyway, here are the 3 I liked most.This is the first one I tried on that I felt good in. It was probably the 8th dress I tried on overall. I loved how the purple looked with my hair and skin tone. It was a bit large at the bottom (compared to other dresses), but it had structure. I tried a few other "bubble" dresses and I am not enough of a rack to fit into those.
This one I fell for. I love how the purple reflects blue; it's like it has my two favorite colors in one. It bunched up really nice around my ass and even though there is some rufflage in the front, it covers up my belly, which is awesome! I felt a bit more refined in that one.
This is the last dress my consultant pulled out for me. The mermaid style looks really really good on me. And the "turquoise" comes out more like a green, but it feels so nice.

Sucky part is that I liked all of these dresses. It's up to my next visit to see which dress gets my mother's stamp of approval. I hope she likes the second one. I really liked it.


Aw S-Word

I seems like the
Trend is instead
F-word-ing saying
Bad words, you
Say the first letter
Followed by "word".

S-word my bio
Grades sucks.

I'm so f-word-ing
P-word-ed off
That stats is still

G-word d-word it,
My parents think I'm
A lazy d-word bag.

This list of examples
Goes on and on.


I've Fallen So Hard off the Wagon (N.a.P.)

I must be PMSing or something because I'm bloated a lot and I've started hiccuping. Yes, hiccups are a symptom of PMS. At least for me.

Anyway, I've resolved to stop being a fatass for Lent. For those of you that don't know, Lent is a time of anticipation for Christian before Easter. So I am resolving to not eating crap food and not eating so much. Plus, having a perfect prom body won't be bad either, haha. Yeah, not going to happen. That's okay though. I just want to healthy up so that for college I know what to do.

So I request whoever reads this blog to list tips for staying healthy so as to avoid the freshman 15 and general weight gain. =]



I'm sorry that sometimes I'm mean.
Actually, I wouldn't say mean;
I tend to be mostly passive-aggressive.
But not so much aggressive.

Either way,
I can't believe I ignored him for most
Of today.
And then someone told me he looked
Sad or
Just not like himself.

Or maybe he just had a lot on his mind.
That had nothing to do with me.
After all,
Nothing is ever really about me,
Is it?


Upper East Side Speechies

Upper East Side speechies.
I saw you in the train this morning.
Clean cut guys in clean suits
And perfectly polished girls also
In clean suits.

And me and Electrohead
Sit in Starbucks as if we're
Better than them...well,
We're not that pretentious.
But we can't really relate.

But the second we got on that
4 train, we looked around.
We were the only light-skinned kids
On it that were sort of polished up.
I mean, he wore a blazer and khaki's
For Christ's sake (irony totally intended).

We were total upper east siders this morning.


Tool Academy 301 (T.V.C.)

This show is golden. Now that they've added Toolettes and a gay couple, it's even better. Except I cannot take it seriously because of Kyle. He's such a sweetie but there is that double standard of him being a total doormat for staying with Jennavecia. Here's a photo of her:I actually feel kind of bad that she went from "hot" to a "slut" so quickly. Just because she's the Toolette. Even though the guys are the same way.

Two guys pissed me off royally: Chasyn and Neander-Tool (I didn't bother memorizing his name because the nickname is hilarious). Chasyn's face bothered me and his attitude. He genuinely didn't seem to care and wussed out so badly. It was kind of funny but more on the "OMG GO AWAY" side. And Neander-Tool is passive too and it was really bad when he started a fight in the middle of therapy. I love Trina, she has a good way of handling stuff. Okay, not really. Security got involved. But she kept a professional demeanor, which was remarkable. Here are pictures of the 2 tools mentioned above:
By the way, Neander-tool definitely wants Jennavecia, in my opinion. But he's probably scared of something blowing between Kyle and Neander-tool's girlfriend. Anyway, at first I couldn't stand Kourtney because of her attitude towards women. But then I realized, she is a tough position: she is a lesbian Tool. That's so different from the other couples, so it seems worse, but in reality, she's as bad as the guys. Not worse just because she's a lesbian. She's actually kind of pretty...in her own way. Like in this pic, she looks pretty cute:
Well that's all I had to say about episode one. The rest of this season should be INCREDIBLE!


Feeling Crappy...God, I Thought This Went Away (R.P.)

I am posting a verse from ""Before the Lobotomy." It kind of describes exactly how I'm feeling.

"I'm not cursed cause I've been blessed
I'm not in love cause I'm a mess

It's sort of how I'm feeling. I'm better, I'm healthy, but I don't have anything I want. It's a really disappointing feeling.


Ash Wednesday

It's the only day of the year
Where you can pick out
The Catholics and Christians
On a crowded subway platform.

You see them standing there,
Ashes adorning the forehead
And you can't help but wonder:
Is it for real or for ritual?

How many of them actually
Believe in what's being
Celebrated in 40 days
Not counting Sundays?

How many not only believe
But actually practice the
"Treat people well" doctrine
That was taught 2000 years ago?

How many do it out of
Fear of a horrid afterlife?
How many do it regardless
Of there being an afterlife?
Would people still act good
If there were no punishments
Either in this life or if there is
A next one?

One can only wonder.


It's Amazing What Happiness Can Do

I have mellowed out.
I might be laughing more,
But I'm not screaming
As much inside.
I'm not berating myself,
Taunting myself with
"Fat chick" "Dip shit"
And other such phrases.

I'm not at all concerned
With whether or not
I have a million boys
Chasing after me or if I
Have one that agonizes
Over me.

I don't freak out if I get
An 80-something
Because there will always be
Another test,
Another homework assignment.

And my taste in music
Has mellowed out as well.
Metal and screamo and hard rock
Just isn't as appealing as it
Once was.
I stick to mostly techno and indie
It's got that fun without the
Scary depressing lyrics.
And I love it.

I love every second of this.

Prom Dress Shopping (B.O.A.)

So today's outfit attempt is to make up for the times that I didn't have one. I went prom dress shopping, which was fun. Well, ignoring the fact that I was walking in rain snow, it was fun. I went to David's Bridal because it's close and I didn't want to do too much traveling and they had a decent selection of dresses online. The first one I tried on, this cream tiered one, is really pretty and feminine. I wish I took a side view of it because my ass looked AH-MAZING!
This next one I tried on for the shape. I really like the idea of a mermaid silhouette. I'm not sure how well it played out on me. I just know one thing: no one-shouldered dresses.
This one is definitely the coolest. I really liked the color on me and like the consultant said, it's a great idea for June. Except I'm a bit worried it accents me the wrong way because I've got hips and an ass and what not. But I really like the detailing.So these are today's dresses. I'll post again later when I go shopping again. I won't say which dress I settled for though until the actual prom date. Actually, I'll just post the dress, not with me in it. Teehee!



I feel so lethargic.
I have no where to go.
Actually, there are plenty
Of places I can go, I just can't.

I'm highly irritable because
A lot of stuff hurts, like
My head and my
Stomach won't stop kicking.

It's having a really angry
Conversation with me.
I don't know what I did to it--
Damn, it shouldn't even BE kicking.
There's no child there.

Maybe it's begging me to
Work it out,
But I did yesterday.
Okay, I didn't.
I did a 10 second plank.
That's kind of pathetic.

The worst part is the
Lack of contact from
Humans other than my parents.

I'd love to have someone over
But I don't think they'd love
To get whatever the hell cold I have.


Happy Valentine's Day (N.a.P.)

So I was cruising MySpace secrets and a lot of people were complaining about how they're single on Valentine's day and how much is sucks and blah blah blah. I say, screw it. I am sick and that's about what sucks. But it's really just another day, people. Like, it sucks to be alone on legitimate holidays, like Christmas. And most people are jealous and angry on Valentine's day because they don't have someone and all the couples are being cutesy. Doesn't that describe most days though?

And being single isn't all bad. You can do stuff without worrying what your boyfriend or whoever will think. And plus, it isn't taboo to receive Valentines from multiple people. And there are awesome heart-shaped tarts and cakes. And a really good excuse to watch tv and eat ice cream. Except when you're sick, eating ice cream isn't the best idea. Plus, Tool Academy 3 is premiering tonight. I know most of the non-reality-tv-watching community doesn't care, but it is a tv show trainwreck masterpiece (haha oxymoron). And there are lesbians and girls this time around, starring as toolettes. How can that NOT be awesome?

You know what else rocks about single on Valentine's Day? You have the whole day to yourself to do whatever you want. No busy schedules of dates and you can talk and flirt all you want. Speaking of flirting, I really wish I could flirt with a few kids right now, but stuffy throats and runny noses aren't sexy in the least.


Avatar (M.R.)

I will start off by saying that all those jokes people make about James Cameron's Avatar being The Matrix and Pocahontas are all true. The film won in the art and acting departments. The plot could be seen as a win or a fail. Ignoring that ambiguity, there was a very depressing air around the movie.

Seeing the film in 3-D was really fun. I had a bit of challenge having those glasses on, but without them I would not have been able to make out basic shapes. But it just dress attention to the artistic genius, partially contributed by WETA Workshop, the people who worked on the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Even though Pandora looked impressive, there are a few inconsistencies. Like the floating mountains...I doubt those could ever work in any form of actuality.

For Avatar, the art and film directors employed a tactic called "motion-capture," in which various dots are placed on a actor, he is filmed, and then on a computer can be animated. So mastering the movements of a made-up race and their language is quite impressive. Major props to Sam Worthington, who had to master an American accent and the Nav'i one.

There were a few things I liked about the plot and things I did not like. The synopsis is awesome, except it felt so rushed that it was hard keeping track of character names, like the main antagonist. The movie was long enough as is, and one cannot argue that the battle scenes were too long because those too seemed abbreviated. There probably should be an extended edition or director's cut to fill out the movie.

But Avatar, as mentioned earlier, felt a lot like Pocahontas. Except on a much larger scale, more violent and, as a result, more depressing. It follows what nations had done for centuries in the past. It is a bit of a harsh reality and it sort of hit really hard. The effect would have been greater if the plot was not rushed, though.

Overall, I thought it was great in spite of the few shortcomings. Though, that could be a result of me being a huge sci-fi, fantasy movie fan.

Rating: 9/10


Vancouver Opening Ceremony

The Olympic games,
As stated in the opening statement,
Are magical.

The talent,
Both artistic, visual, and athletic,
Is overwhelming.

It is a gathering of the
Best of the best
Representing all of us.

Watching the opening ceremony
In Vancouver,
The magic was evident.

Watching the opening ceremony
In Beijing,
The magic was evident.

Though both are different,
Coming from different backgrounds,
The purpose is still the same.

The Olympics itself
Is a work of art.

At the Nursing Home (R.P.)

So I'm at Nary Manning Walsh home right now and my head is pounding. I don't think I slept enough last night. The smell of this place is overpowering. And it's eerily quiet. Almost too quiet. I mean, Anita is screaming as usually for her companion and that's normal. But besides that, no one is saying a word. It's a little creepy.

But then I went shopping afterwards with PBD. It was awesome ^^


Best. Playdate. Ever! (N.a.P.)

Today I hung out with Arizohna and Alice Dork because we had a snowday. We played rockband, ate hot pockets and built our snow man. It was really fun! I was so cold when I got home though. It was a long journey back from the upper east side to Chelsea.

I wish I lived uptown. So many of my friends live there and stuff. My neighborhood's only fun if you're 21 and besides that, it's kind of lame as a teen. I cannot wait for college. Everything seems to be fun at college!


Snow day!

I imagine that tomorrow morning
I'll wake up to a glorious blanket
Of white bliss covering the urban ground.
Except I will not be sitting at home,
Enjoying a nice cup of hot chocolate
In the afternoon watching vh1.
I'll be at my close friends' house enjoying
Hot pockets and an awesome playdate with
Another friend of ours. I smell a good
Day coming my way.



One of the worst feelings
Ever is an adult addressing
A group of students
Describing to them
How disappointed
He or she at the group.

For simplicity's sake,
I am going to use the
Pronoun he.

Even when you know
That it isn't personally
Your fault that he is
Disappointed in your
Group, you feel awful
That he is disappointed
In the first place.

And he was a man that
I thought I would
Never have to witness
That angry at anyone.

But a lot of that
Seems to be happening

It needs to stop.


Cutesy Rocker (B.O.A.)

This morning, I decided to put my hair in pigtails. I think it looks cute, just not from that angle. I haven't done an outfit since I've been feeling crappy. But there shall be more to come this week to make up for it!

White hoodie from American Eagle, tee shirt by I have no idea who, jeans from Levi, and makeup by Este Lauder and Kat Von D.


I think I'll always be a sitting girl.
One who sits and thinks and reflects
And thinks and sits.

I realized last night
That dwelling on what's ideal
What you'd ideally want
Is stupid.

It never works out the way
You want it to.
And the more you compare what
You've got right now
To what you've seemingly
Always wanted, you're not
Going to be happy.

You're just going to be disappointed.
I mean,
I always think about what I want
To happen.

Here are the things I've realized:
I'm the person who almost
Never lucks out and is rarely
The exception to rules.
I have to work for everything.

Didn't study one night and
Have a test first period?
Bound to not do well.
Not bound to magically
Do incredibly.

The more I can vividly picture
Something happening,
The more unlikely it is.

I've learned that going
Into things with no expectations
Just makes it that much better.

Like Kairos.
I had zero expectations.
I wasn't expecting it to be
But I wasn't expecting it to be
And it wound up being one
Of the most healing experiences so far.

So I think I should go on
Just not having expectations.

The surprises are always nice.
I like surprises.


My Art (N.a.P.)

I like drawing and photography. I just realized that most of my favorite photos are not of people and all my drawing is of people. It's kind of interesting. Maybe it's because I harbor a secret jealousy for people who photograph really well.

I don't photograph well. Honestly, I think half of my facebook pictures are not accurate representations of how I look. I won't even start on my myspace pics. I overedit those for fun. Not all of them, but a good chunk of them. Haha, I find it fun.

With the art, I ventured into a bit of pointillism because I drew a picture of a girl sitting on a beach and I wanted to hand draw the sand. Let's just say, it's tedious and I disliked it, but it was very relaxing. Poking frustrations out on a piece of paper was awesome. Except I want to go back to word-detailing: it looks cooler and I'm starting to love my handwriting because of it. Apparently I write like great-grandfather. He was a really cool dude. He survived the Holocaust and gave my dad and his family everything he could. One of my favorite stories about him was when he took my dad to preschool on a sled in the middle of May. It's so cute!

Anyway, here's a random blog. I'm feeling much better now.


Tiredness (R.P.)

Man, I have nothing to blog about. At least right now. Blogging when upset has bad consequences. And I'm not even upset, just slightly moody about everything. But maybe something good might come out after all of this.


Looks Like it Was Hogwarts Day (B.O.A.)

Lol my facial expression is so bad in this pic. It just goes to show how tired I have been since about Sunday. But that's what I wore today. A little androgyny from time to time doesn't hurt, but when it's a style, then it gets annoying. I haven't worn any of my ties in forever, so I decided to wear my grey one today to go for a really private school looks.

Tie from American Eagle, shirt from Banana Republic, vest from Esprit, and rings are from various countries and my school.


Sonnet In My Spanish Notebook

Can I compare this to a big earthquake?
It caused big rifts and change and division.
They say crises can stronger friendships make
But after this, I'd say it's time for revision.
When I mentioned full moon appeared
Perhaps it came to shed much needed light
Which would be needed to keep guy here
And this will not go down without a fight.
Now that we are in this bizarre new place,
We should not get too comfortable if we
Would really like to again share some face;
It'd signify happiness to me.
So I don't think that this should ruin us
But we need some talking; move on, we must.



I'm so tired
I can't see straight.
I used eye drops
For the first time.

Stinking college
Financial aid
Eats at my mind
And dumb people
Eat at my heart.

I'm drinking
So many fluids
Cuz I cannot
Get sick before
My AP Bio
Field trip to a
DNA lab
Because it sounds
Like fun.