As everyone who knows me knows,
I am almost never obvious about
Whether or not something is bothering me.
Part of me wishes I was, but my
Lack of pride doesn't want to be
Known as a drama queen.
But it's just...
I don't even know.
I'm just horrifically down and energyless.
Maybe it's my sore throat and
My body image and
The recent school drama and
My academic fail and
Other crap.
Like, I honestly just want to crawl under
My covers with one of my stuffed animals,
In my pj's and stay there.
I think I might be slipping slowly into
A down.
Which is unusual, considering crashes happen
Randomly and over the stupidest crap.
I think it's because of my jealousy of people.
I'm such a closed person.
As stated earlier, if something's wrong,
90% chance you won't know it.
I see some of my friends and they
Can practically look at each other and
Know what the other is thinking.
I wish I had that kind of closeness.
I also watch the various groups of friends
All share ideas and agree and stuff like that.
I want to know what it's like to be part of
Something or to belong somewhere.
Which is why I like relationships.
I feel like I belong somewhere,
Be it in someone's arms or in someone's heart.
And all I want now is that closeness, where it's like:
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Yep."
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