One of My Fears

I reread the
Part of Questionable Content
When Faye's dad killed himself

And Jeph went on to talk
About how the suicide or the death
Of a loved one could
Really fuck up someone's psyche.

It got me thinking about
Something me and SCBFF
Talked about.

Us being exes doesn't
Phase or worry me as much
As him being in ROTC does.

Because, I mean,
People can die in every day
Life, just going through their routine.
But he might be in the military,
One day, hopefully never,
Where it's a constant threat.

And my worst fear
Is losing him.

I'd be fucking devastated.
But I won't start
Doing things to prevent
It from happening,
Like superstitions,
But I just want him in my life.

Like, you know,
Not permanently going
Through that dumb phase
When we didn't talk
For about a year.

I'd miss the advice,
The banter,
The dumb moments,
And most of all,
The friendship.