Ultimately...

Ultimately,
What I want doesn't matter.

Not in the least.

Like, honestly.
Who am I kidding
To like that school so much?

Honestly,
I probably won't end up
Going there.

Just because of some
As shit
Numbers on a piece of white paper
In the mail with a freaking
Official red seal on it.

God, that sounded
Really angry.

But I am very upset.

The entire car ride home,
I blamed all the walking
On me being tired.

I'm tired of feeling
This way.

I know I'm pmsing,
But it comes up even
When I'm not.

I think about it a lot.

It's getting to the
Point that I almost
Want to go anywhere
Just so that I don't have a choice
And don't have to deal with the feelings.

But there are two syllables
For that:

Stu-pid.