Things You Don't Say To People

When someone's trying really hard
To lose weight, the LAST thing
You tell is:
"You look the same as you did."

It just makes us people who can't complain
When/ if they weigh 118 pounds to work out harder
Eat less, and get more and more frustrated
With themselves.

I would love for just one summer:

To actually want to go to the beach
And not hate every second of it
Because I know I don't look good in swimwear.

To actually wear a pair short shorts without
Pairing them with a sweatshirt because of what
Tank tops do to my body when paired with short shorts.

To actually have people looking at me with
A good impression and not "Holy shit, what the fuck
Is she thinking?"

To actually be able to show some skin
Without worrying that I'm going to make
Someone have horrific images.

I love how when I'm depressed,
My body gets hit hardest with the bad feelings.
I just start getting antisocial because no one listens.

When I'm like "ugh I'm in a bad mood"
Somehow that usually gets translated
Into "hey let me vent to you."
And then I realize that whatever that person has
To vent about is worse than whatever is wrong
With me so I end up ignoring me until I get home.
And that's when it gets to the point when I'm upset
And have no clue why, so I try justifying it.

I'm guessing the really recent weight failure contributed,
The English class failure,
The distance I feel from everyone,
And the weird crap that's going on with my teachers.