These moments of panic feel crippling. The amount of work is overwhelming. I worry I am too fueled by ego when it comes to doing well. I don't want to fail because I just don't do that. People like me don't fail. I wish I had a more positive spin. Like, I don't want to fail because I want to do something later and not have to repeat or waste time. But it is what it is. And my stress has been causing me to focus on me a lot. Empathy is difficult. But the niceness of Christmas in my unit took off a lot of edge. And writing cards for people.
Being nice takes off the edge. And it's the people I know that are my reason for working and to keep going.