So, numbers in general tend to mess with my head. A lot. Numbers for GPA, numbers for how much things cost, numbers about weight, numbers about ounces and grams related to food. And it's the first and the last two that are seriously messing with me right now. I've been through a lot. And with all the experience I have being strong and telling people not to give up or whatever advice seems appropriate, I can barely be there for myself right now. And it's hardest now that the number issues are coming up when it comes to my weight. I tend to see myself as that number and then I worry that people see it too and judge me. It's as if I'm projecting all my negativity onto how others view me. And I feel like they can also see all over me how poorly I'm doing when it comes to academics. And I am collapsing under my own pressure. Or my own weight, if you will.