Ten Things I Learned from Taking Woodstock (M.R.)

1. Naked Hippies Are Not Hot: No, I do not care if it's free chance to see boobs swinging around and whatnot. It's not hot. If it's not mine and not my boyfriend's I do not want to see it.
2. Don't Eat the Special Brownies: I would be terrified if my parents started jumping around and laughing hysterically the same way they probably were when they were 20 and madly in love. Though it would probably be hysterically funny afterwards.
3. Don't Get High Before Having to Speak in Public: The weirdest crap comes out of your mouth...like the fact that the concert you're hosting is free and magically over a million people want to join in on the fun.
4. Dimitri Martin Should Stick to Sketch Comedy: I love the guy. Really, I do. But he can't really seem to act. Like, his role reminded me too much of himself on the show than the Elliot he was to portray on the screen. Good thing I liked his humor though.
5. Mudslides Are Fun: I really want to do that...I don't care if it's with thousands of other strangers, I just want to give it a spin.
6. The Woodstock Festival Should Have Its Own Movie: Honestly, there was not enough about it. I felt like it focused too much on the financial and design aspect of the concert and not the music. I learned tons about hippie culture though. Not so much about the music. I'm sure it is super difficult to get lookalikes or something stand in for the actual bands, but a little effort would be nice.
7. My Parents Are Sane: My mother isn't harboring 97,000 dollars in her closet and is scared of revealing it just so I can stay home and pull them out of debt. I'm serious. My parents are sane compared to that.
8. Hiring Ex-Army Transvestites As Security Works: I'd rather have a really scary burly man-woman as a bouncer to any party than a scary burly man. GO VILMA!
9. Bats Make Great Weapons: I'm guessing people in that era didn't like to use guns to ward off unfriendly people. Swinging at people with a bat seems to work better than just standing there threateningly with a gun.
10. I Like Movies With Plots: It seemed to be having so much potential at the beginning. Then the plot direction died. Really, it did. Along with the music of Woodstock that wasn't actually present in the movie.