Waking up every morning before the sun was up definitely did not motivate me to do anything, but I knew I had to be as alert as possible to get the most out of my externship. Spending even the three days at the hospital, I soon learned, was not for me. Just paying attention to the types of details and the specifics of the details the doctors paid attention to...I would not be able to handle. Not to say I'm dumb and cannot remember things, but I cannot handle the kinds of problems those children had. So much sadness and so much pain, some of it I had not heard of before. And then I realized, life at a hospital might be for me. And that's okay. Experiences and shadowings are to determine if I want to do something. And knowing what you don't want is about as important as knowing what you do want.