The Beat (Some Stuff I Feel Like Sharing So As Not to Give Mixed Signals)

• Thesis: I want a relationship.

• Specifics: Not open, not "HOLY GOD I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!" Something cool, fun, and not so serious.

• Why? Open relationships are weird to me, I don't feel like being a whore and doing everyone, so I'm just flirting and seeing what'll happen.

• Plan: Flirt with people, find someone totally awesome that I can see myself being silly with, friends with, romantic with, and fun with.

• What I want: Someone who can and can't live without me and vice versa. A person that'll give me chocolate or whatever just because it's today. A person I can bitch to and they can bitch to me. Tons of trust would be sweet too. Just something cute and friendly and something everyone feels special in.

• What I Don't Want: No love stuff until later...like really later. I don't wanna hurt anyone and I don't wanna get hurt just because of junior year and a lack of time. I want happiness, but not something that can lead to a lot of pain...not yet, at least. Oh yeah, no cheating.
  

Just getting that out there. Me and K talked today and I started feeling like either I was investing myself too much with someone or I was leading them on. I wonder if they'll read this.

At first, it was really easy to say "no dating until college." I think what I meant was no super-serious heavy relationships until then. I'd like to retain some sanity. And I don't wanna drive anyone else crazy either. I really just wanna feel special. I want the tingly butterfly feeling in the stomach at the mention of a person's name again. And kissing the same person over and over again is fun. I don't really get a kick out of kissing multiple people. Cheek kisses? Sure. Constant make outs with multiple people? SLOW down. I'm a really relationship-y person. Some people say it's bad, others think it's cute. I care about people way too much. Seriously. You have a problem, I will prolly feel bad even if I half-hate you (I can't really hate people...that's a "problem").

I love how I have something to rant about every week...OH BY THE WAY!

I might try a video-log (no vlog bullshit) next entry. I hope it works >.<