Feeling Terrible

Taken from sunshinerosepetal 

I sat in my room holding my Yelling Bird for half an hour or so this morning.  The skin around my eyes is tender from crying so much.  I feel completely awful.  I feel used, led on, unwanted, and hurt.  Everything hurts.

At least he came to see me like I asked him to.  I wasn't going to let myself be broken up with via phone or text or IM or something really stupid and impersonal like that.  But the visit involved a lot of my tears and a lot of his apologies and a lot us hugging and cuddling and me weeping into his sweater.  I was just hurting so much.

And, I guess with hindsight 20/20, maybe there were signs that he wasn't totally into it.  But that's difficult because we were basically constant throughout the passed two months.  I mean, we did fight twice.  But every couple fights especially when you don't see each other for a while.  And it wasn't for lack of communication.

We talked.  A lot.  He just never thought about it...scratch that, he never thought.  And the part that kills me is that he just didn't know any better.  And that I did everything right and was the best girlfriend ever.  It just sucks.  And I feel terrible.  Just terrible.