Hopeless

Taken from closer ❦ to the sun

I hope that one day I'll lose it.

And it'll look like something
From an indie movie.

Except there won't be any
Fancy camera angles
Or lights coming from everywhere.

There won't be a person,
Who will come and take care of me.

I'll lose it enough to seem fine,
So no one would suspect a thing.

And then I'll go out
And go party,
Just enough to not remember a thing.

And I'll spent the next day
And maybe even the next week
Recreating myself anew.

And I'll come out of it
Completely detoxified
And no one should recognize me.

But all that effort
For a taste of self-discovery
Just does not seem worth.

I don't want to be the girl
Who goes home with some random
Stranger and doesn't even know their name.