10/11/2008

Deep Conversions in a State Deep Conversations Should Not Be Possible

It did not really feel any different. I felt fine. I talked to my boyfriend yesterday after spending some 5-odd hours with K. First we had dinner with her friend, Ariah, and then we sat at her house drinking a bit while watching TV and talking. And then, when I got home, my parents interogated me about drinking alcohol, but I dismissed it. Until I started talking to Scott. He was teasing me about being buzzed, but whatever. I was fine.

Anyway, onto the bulk of this entry. I did not people get so deep and meaningful while depressants are running through their veins. I guess it sort of forces you to stop, slow down, and actually think about what you are going to say. I am not saying take a few shots before telling your parents that you are pregnant or breaking up with your boyfriend or telling your friend that you do not want to be their friend anymore. But it was interesting to say the least.

Everything I told Kayleigh, probably would not have been. I usually do not tell most people about my various, bullshit crises. I am recently undergoing a religious crisis, but I do not know exactly what the issue is. Scott suggests I am becoming agnostic, but I have no idea. I do not know much recently. It is really weird. Not going to go into it on my blog because some family friend's kid spreads gossip about me that my mom does not even know about. And I kind of want my parents to know after I know what the issue is.

We talked about ex-boyfriends and stuff. Current emotional ruts. Everything that is borderline depressing. I feel like if a log of that conversation went into a novel, people reading it might be in tears. It was stuff that I could not talk to my best friend of almost six years about. I told Scott basically about what went on, and we had a similar conversation (but we usually have those conversations when I am crying hysterically due to a crash).

I think what I learned from last night is that I have two true friends. =]

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