Um...like no shit, it does. I am apologizing in advance for every profanity spoken in this entry. Well, I mean, people cannot function when they are depressed. Plain and simple.
I have not gotten a good night's sleep in weeks. Either I had to be up early (on tour) or I do not fall asleep until 2 A.M. or I get nightmares during the night. It really hurts. And now, there is some form of subconscious anorexia or something going on, because I cannot eat. I have a slice of toast with a slice of tomato and I am full. I try eating another one, and I get heartburn. I really sucks. And I don't want to get all the complications related to not eating enough. But I am eating a balanced diet...whatever, it is still scary.
I guess they just say stuff like "Where does depression hurt?" just to give the people who have never had it some verbal idea of what it is like. They even show people with really emo expressions on their faces. Well, with the people I know, it's a slew of "I'm fine's" until they give up on you. Until you're like "shit, I am alone."
The loneliness is the worst. You have no freaking clue how to occupy yourself because you've isolated yourself so badly. And I so many people have left me. I've lost...about 12 friends this year. Twelve CLOSE friends. I have lost any form of integrity of being myself just because like...if barely anyone likes you, is it really okay to still be you?
That's the question I am trying to answer.
And nothing fits.
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