I am an awkward turtle. No, really, I am. I do not understand where people get the idea that I am "da shyt" and such a socialite because I am not. I am so quiet when hanging out with people I do not know, because I know I will come off as super-duper immature or obviously trying to be older.
I just got back from, for all technicality's sake, a college party. And I knew one person there: my boyfriend. I stayed on the couch with him quietly because I could not contribute to conversations revolving around "my worst hangover." I would not know. I am not a kid who can go up to people and just be all talkative. I never know what to say, especially when I get pissed at my two best friends. But besides that, I do not know what to say. This one guy there asked me about my summer. I uttered like a sentence and went quiet. I cannot communicate with people older than me. Ever. Unless they act like they are my age or nice enough to not have the whole "I obviously act older than I am even though I am already older than you" aura going on. I just cannot deal with it without being shy.
And I honestly felt that my boyfriend had that aura tonight. And it sucked. Like, I honestly felt like they were babysitting me. It is one thing when you are 18 like they are and do not know anyone, and a completely different thing when you are 16, a lowly sophomore, who went to their high school, and do not know anyone.
It is awkward central. This is one of those deals where you cannot tell anyone about it because they will laugh at you for not drinking. Society is not really a thing I like.
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