My Biggest Insecurity

Taken from tiamo-bella

I generally come off as a pretty secure girl.  I usually don't complain about my body, nor am I usually jealous of other girls.  But there's one thing that makes me cringe and hide.  I wish I had smooth skin on my legs.  And no, I'm not talking dimple, cellulite-free legs that grace the legs of models and celebrities.  I could care less about having those.  I want rash and hive-free legs.  Legs that aren't cut-up looking and red.  I want the pale, beautiful legs I have.  They're the right shape, but not to right texture and color.  And it makes me so sad.  Because it's kind of repulsive.  Or at least I see it as such.  Unless that diseased look is in right now.  Which I doubt.

Ten Reasons Why He's My Favorite (N.a.P.)

Taken from sunshinerosepetal

There comes a time in every relationship when you're mad a your other or they're mad at you or something is just going horrifically wrong and you find yourself in the fetal position contemplating every way you could fix it.  That was me last weekend.  And this weekend, everything seems to be working.  He calls me.  We skyped earlier today even.  I saw his face and got really giddy and excited.  But I can't just be giddy and excited when I see him.  I need to be excited most of the time.  Until he actually does something to hurt me.  So since I'm bored and romantic-y, here are ten reasons why Tim is still my favorite.

1. We can watch the same bizarre television shows together.  He likes South Park, I love it.  Almost every show he shows me, I enjoy.  Right now, I'm checking out Arrested Development because it's one of his favorites.  And we have similar humor.  I mean, sure, it's hard to get a guy to like My Little Pony or The Vampire Diaries, but he's slowly starting to accept that it makes me cheerful and it's going to be a topic in conversation.

2. He's soft-spoken.  He's one of those guys that you never would have guessed had an awesome personality if you didn't make the first steps and started talking to him.  That's kind of the story of me and him.  And I'm so glad I kind of creepily clung to him after that one lunch with friends from class.  But he's really shy and it's pretty endearing.  And, this will sound awful, makes me feel comfortable that me and him share this secret of his personality and that I won't have to compete for attention--either from him or other people.

3. We listen to the same music.  Like, exactly the same music.  I show him an indie band, he shows me techno and our musical tastes are both enriched by the exchange.  We go to concerts together, have a great time, and then sit on stoops and talk about how good it was.  We've done this three times so far.  And each concert gets better.

4. He's there for me when I need him.  Sure, last weekend and the days leading up that was an issue, but there are countless times when something at a party or hang out went totally wrong and for some reason or other, I'm scared or in tears and he's there.  He's on the phone, taking a break from his party until I feel better.

5. The way he makes me laugh.  Usually when he writes something funny, it's gut-wrenching laughter.  The most recent I can think of is everytime I say something like "I miss your face."  And he responds with "me too."  And I'm like "damn, boy."  And he says "Yep, I miss my face all the time."  And then we laugh and endorphines are released and life is good.  He's a pretty funny dude, but see point number 2.

6.  He enjoys my baking.  I haven't baked a nonvegan pastry in forever.  And now that I have to eat mostly gluten-free, the Babycakes pastry book has been overly convenient.  And most people like their pastries to be milk-full and egg-full.  But he enjoys mine.  And there's no more awesome feeling in regards to cooking when the person you're dating, who you spend time baking and planning meals for, enjoys eating them.

7. The way we snuggle.  Not going to lie, the first time I went to sleepover at his room in Poland, I was worried snuggling might be uncomfortable.  He's six feet tall and is a bean pole.  But he is just so much taller and longer than I that he basically forms a crescent around my small frame.  And he just holds me so close.  Like, I can feel his chin on my shoulder.  The best feeling: when he kisses my shoulder before falling asleep and upon waking.  It's just so comforting and I can't wait to enjoy it in two weeks.

8.  He's a computer science major, I suck at computer science, and we get along perfectly.  People have asked us what we talk about.  But there are things pertaining to majors, such as future plans, that transcend dislike and disinterest.  And honestly, I find it completely adorable when he gushes over his computer architecture class.

9. He lets us do our own thing.  He likes driving around with his friends, I like watching hulu with mine.  He goes to parties, I stay in and watch shows and blog.  We totally respect each other's time spending.  As long as some contact is maintained.  Like, when we party, we call each other to feel like we're enjoying the experience together.  And we giggle at the silly things that are happening and it isn't too obnoxious.  Except for when we get to the slurry part.  Then it gets completely obnoxious.  And now to round out the list...

10. He is really attractive.  What can I say?  Like most normal girlfriends,  I am attracted to my boyfriend.  He's tall, lean, handsome, has gorgeous eyes, and a great personality.  What's not to like?

Weirdest Feeling of Nostalgia

Taken from sunshinerosepetal

Today, for the first time ever, I ate at a dining hall all by myself.  As in, I went in by myself and sat by myself.  I did not meet any of my friends there.  And it was weird.  Mostly because I felt totally out of place as a sophomore who does not live on North campus going to a freshman dining hall.  I did not even eat at that dining hall all too often.  But the meal I had was just such a staple that I couldn't help be brought back to the few times I ate there.  But I got most nostalgia from the freshman.  Saving between six and twelve seats at a table for them and all their friends.  Screaming at each other.  Talking about all the gossip in their social circles.  I know those things aren't unique to freshman, but they are definitely definitive of freshman.  And to complete my freshman-year dining experience, I got food poisoning.  Which makes my food poisoning count at Cornell, four.

Glamourized

Taken from deciso 

Thought Catalog makes everything sound so profound and pretty.  Maybe it's the power in the words, or the actual content, but everything just sounds so good.  And emotional things, even something mild like the ritual of getting ready for a Friday night can sound profound and beautiful.  I wish I could write like that.

I want to make the way I'm feeling like something brokenly beautiful.  Like there's something glamorous about sitting in on a Saturday night, reading your psychology like it's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and remembering as many details of both books.  My phone's off so even if there were more exciting things happening tonight, I'm wholly unaware.  I'll just pretend I'm content watching South Park and reading psych.  Because it's the only emotionally-neutral thing I'm doing tonight.  Besides, you know, trying to not think about the fact that my boyfriend hasn't reached out to me in a day.  Or has been acting like much of a boyfriend in general.  I need to disappear so he can remember me.  But maybe he won't.  I don't think he will.  And that's what I have to ignore.  And the writers of Thought Catalog would make this sound a whole lot more fucking beautiful.

Like a Dumbass

Taken from myheartishoney:

Am I the only one who does not have a lot due, but has a lot to do?  I'm laying in bed sick, under my covers, with my Yelling Bird in my arms, wishing for the self-imposed workload to go away and my sickness to go away so I can go back to being productive, fun and awesome.  I have tutoring and a meeting tomorrow, and feeling slightly unprepared for both.  I mean, can you get tutoring for just derping on tests?  Knowing answers, writing wrong ones, showing a total disconnect between knowledge and testing.  Second half of the semester is a new half of the semester, right?

This October

Taken from myheartishoney

I want you in my arms for more than a day.  Can you be there for two days?  Can I be in your arms for some of the days?  We can share a bed together and be in each other's arms.  And then we can get all bundled up and share some coffee from Stella's while holding hands, finding a bench or something to sit on.  I just want to see my favorite.  Why do I have to wait so long?  I mean, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes the heart get a slight case of the aches.  Or maybe that's just it pounding from the current stress.  But I just want to see you a lot.  Maybe even go to a Halloweekend party together.  In something really cute and matchy...but I don't think you want to.  Have matching costumes, I mean.  I should you want to see me.

Stress and Pressure

Taken from fleetingfoxes

I don't know what's gotten into me these days, but the excitement, rigor, enthusiasm, and determination I had to kick this semester in the ass has just died on me.  Like, I genuinely feel like it's not going to happen.  My transfer isn't going to happen.  That it's just going to be a repeat of when I really wanted to get into Brown, I did everything right, and yet somehow it didn't happen.  But I really don't want that to happen with transferring out of engineering.  I don't know.  Maybe my grades will rescue themselves.

Testing Monster

Taken from myheartishoney

All this studying is turning me into a butt.  Or, as most people would say, an ass.  I sit at home all day.  Studying. I come out when I need to.  Like for food, or class, or some meeting that could help me in the class.

And while I'm studying, everyone is being fun and cool.  They're going to parties.  They're wasting time watching a film together.  And I'm by myself studying because it seems like everything that is life is detrimental to my success.  Or lack there of.  And then I start reverting to bad mental habits that kept me locked up on weekends throughout most of high school.  And it seems like no one understands or wants to join to me or anything having to do with interacting with me.  And if these people are different, why do they all treat me the same?

When I See You

Taken from sufficio

I think I might actually slap you or something.  I don't know.  I just want to build something that can you get you here like now.  Or get me there like now.  Because I need a break from being alone all the time.  Because everyone smokes pot and no one actually cares about how isolated it makes me feel.  And I hate your card company crap right now.  You could be here right now.  Reminding me that there are people who enjoy both weed and spending time with me.  And instead of me sitting here feeling dumb as shit for getting so excited just for disappointment that we won't spend a whole weekend together, we'd be snuggling right now.  But that's not the case.  Another Friday of me just wishing there was something better to do.  Except, you know, being thoroughly disappointed.  But what's another 20 hours?  Disapproval.  Towards everything.

College Living

Taken from suckmyclock

It involves lots of tea.  Lots of waiting.  Lots of paper getting torn to shreds by erasers and frustration.  Lots of pencils being used up.  Lots of pens lacking ink.  Lots of coffee and coffee drinks.  Lots of episodes of television being watched with friends while eating cookies.  Lots of reading; page after page, line after line, of reading.  Lots of walking up and down hills.  Lots of walking just in general.  Lots of note taking and lots of lists just make up the lives of an average sophomore.

A Fourth Grader

Taken from gahdengremlins

You went to school like it was any other day.  Well, any other gym day, so instead of wearing your normal school uniform, you wore your baggy and comfortable gym clothes.  And school had just started.  So we barely got through our first class when they ushered the whole school downstairs.  We just heard something super bad happened downtown and a lot of kids were being picked up as soon as possible by their parents.  They lived close by to the event.  And slowly one by one, they left the building in a hurry.  My dad picked me up relatively early because he was worried that we wouldn't be able to leave.

I remember him telling me that one of the towers fell.  And in my little nine-year-old head, it made zero sense. How can a building just fall?  They're supposed to not do that.  But then walking home up 7th avenue, there the second one stood.  With a backdrop of the clear blue sky, it was just there.  Smoking.  There were flames.  My dad and I stood with onlookers.  Some people ran downtown.  As we're about to walk back, I remember hearing my dad whisper "holy shit."  It was the first time I heard him swear.  And I turned around with him.  And it came down.  It just stacked on top of itself and I thought things usually fell over; not straight down.  These were such petty thoughts, but nothing made sense.  People were screaming and it was just completely unreal.

I remember coming home and when my dad put the key in our door, I asked him, "Dad, did that seriously just happen?"  And he nodded.  I went home and turned on the television.  Everything about it was horrifying.  Scarier than the Ghost Ship movie I had seen with my friends at a sleepover a few weeks ago.  The events of the day came so much clearer but it was still really bizarre.  The most horrifying thing for me, besides, you know, the whole situation, was the video footage of people falling off the side of the building.  I'm still horrified of heights and it took me back to literally a few days prior when my dad and I went to the top as part of a touristy loop of NYC we did.  We made it to the top.  And I looked down and imagining someone dropping down from there was just mind-numbing.  I shut off the telly and watched something cheerful, like Dora the Explorer.  And I was 9.  The worst was thinking about how that could have happened.  And it still is.

Rewatching the footage with half a morbid fascination, it remains as terrifying.  Hearing the stories of people being there in the towers, I can't imagine what I would do.  And looking back, I became terrified of everything, just because I saw it.  And it's silly.  I know it's not as significant as losing someone or being there or helping people and not being sure if you'd make it out alive, but that day was just something that you could not forget if you tried.

Support Beams

Taken from analyzing

I'm sorry I call you at ridiculous hours of night.  Just because it's a little too dark for comfort.  And I'm a little too out of it to be alone, under a brilliant guise of "it's fine, guys, I'll be just fine."  But you're there for me.  You're starting to be able to tell when I'm not okay.  I love the way you keep me level.  The way you're getting better at comforting.  The way you listen and give advice when advice is almost the last thing I want at the moment.  Just the way you are.  Thanks for being there.

A Little Note on My Classes This Semester

Taken from brisaemmim

So I think I've got it figured out.  The most time-consuming class is a tie between physiology and intro to psych.  The least time consuming in terms of getting homework done will be physics, math, and nutrition.  The classes I will find easiest are physics, nutrition, and psych.  The hardest, without a doubt, will be math.  Math will also be the most time consuming in terms of understanding (I already have an office hours schedule going...I am very cool).  I do two extracurriculars: Polish club and soccer.  It'll keep my life interesting and school-free enough that I feel like a human being and not just some book-bound, skillful reading android who occasionally solves complex math equations.  Or draws graphs.

Books, Books, Books

Taken from brisaemmim

I don't think after college I'll be picking one up for a while.  Or I'll get so sick of reading textbooks, taking notes on everything, scrutinizing the details, and cramming it into my head....well, I'm not cramming yet.  More like trying to fill a suitcase for a short trip with all the clothes I could ever possibly need.  I think when I get the time to read a non-textbook will be the best day of my life so far.

First Day

Taken from sunshinerosepetal

It was the first day of classes and I wasn't even done setting a schedule that won't make me die.  Well, my current now might, just because of all the reading, but the reading is fine.  It's the understanding that might be the issue.  Which why I read with a pen in hand and a notebook on the desk.  Unless it's just review.  Then not so much.  But so much running around!  And I've still yet to buy books for one of them.

"Far Above Cayuga's Waters"

Quotes in caption taken from Cornell's Alma Mater
Pic taken from hinylon

Tomorrow I go back off to the abyss of cold, the land of friends, the fields of learning, the pastures of hanging out, the gorges of adventure, and towers of knowledge, and insert other places followed by nouns here.  I'm all packed up and ready to go; the SUV might as well be spilling somehow.  If SUVs can spill of course.  So, a new a semester is starting and holy God, I hope I survive.

Because...Cupcakes

Taken from katashark

My cupcakes won't be as amazing as thin mint cupcakes.  But they shall be made of love, happiness, and friendship.  For I am having friends and we will be baking the happiest cupcakes ever.  As a last party with my friends.  It'll be the best.  And the yummiest.

I Am Not

Taken from suckmyclock

I do not fit the profile of a well-dressed young New Yorker.  Maybe on some days but for the most part, no.  And that's not a bad thing.  I feel comfortable in shorts, some tank top, Chucks, and a necklace.  I don't feel the need to go all out with my accessories every day or stack on bracelets.  I give props to the girls who do, but that is not me.  I do not live as if the world is a runway, because that means every looks and scrutinizes everything you wear.  But that does not imply that I do not know how to dress.  I just do not dress fashionably as if it'll determine the outcome of my day.

Description of My Style

Taken from dirtylittlestylewhoree

I'd like to say that my style is quite varied.  I like lace.  I like sweaters.  I like hoodies and belted dresses.  I like skinny jeans.  I love boots but only like flats and sneakers.  Hats are my first style love; I usually am not seen without one once September or 60-degree-weather-during-the-day rolls around.  I love giant bags, mostly from the men's sections of stores.  I like men's wallets.  But when it comes to purses, the girlier, but more functional the better.  Plaid and dots and stripes have to be my favorite patterns.  I like shirts with giant stupid logos but usually think I have too much decency to wear them in public.  I also like fingerless gloves and circle (infinity) scarves, especially when worn together.

I'm a little seasonally backward.  I wear maxi skirts and jeans in summer, but shorts and mini skirts in winter.  But that's mostly because in winter, you have the freedom to cover up imperfections and be creative with tights and socks.  Or rather, now I'm trying to use all my bottoms for all times of the year.  But tops are black-and-white: tee shirts in summer, fall, and spring without embellishment, thermals and long sleeves in winter.  Boots, in my opinion, shouldn't be worn year round.  They're a fall and winter thing.  And sandals are reserved for spring and summer.  Sneakers and flats are anytime shoes.

Accessories that aren't meant to keep me warm are still a bit of a mystery.  I've figured out that some necklaces and earrings class up an outfit, while others make them more casual.  Headbands aren't appropriate for all outfits, but for most they are.  I haven't been into rings since I stopped wearing the same 3 with everything.  But now that I've inherited some cocktail rings, I might start wearing those.  Maybe.

Food Perfectionism

Taken from iheart-myself

The dumbest thing about my mentality when I start working out again, is that I get into this mentality where everything I eat needs to be perfect.  Even the chocolate I eat has to have as little sugar as possible.  I can barely enjoy food even though food enjoyment points at diet success.  It's a stupid mentality I have to kill.  Because it's going to do more harm than good and stress makes your body hold on to the things you don't want and even make more.  Which is absurd, but happens.

Strobe Kisses

Taken from iheart-myself

The lights, the bass, the buzzing, the crazy scantily-dressed kids I'm pretty sure aren't over 16, the amazing DJs, but I think what the best part was being there with my boyfriend.  We danced, we bobbed along, and the music was pumping and it really felt like all was right in the world.  Even though there were scantily-dressed kids and I felt slightly insecure but he was there with his attention on all on me, even before I joined the other people in their shenanigans, so that was awesome.  It was just a good night all around.

Anticipation, Man!

Taken from myheartishoney

I've never been so anxious and excited for anything in a while.  My heart is just fluttering with the anticipation of seeing him, my 6-foot-tall rail of a boyfriend who is the nicest boy I've been with to date.  Pun definitely intended.  But I cannot wait to see his face, his wavy (probably shortened at this point) brown hair, his blue-green-can't-decide-what-color-they-are eyes, and just all of him.  And I can't wait to snuggle him again and just spend time together again.  Not as awesome as when he had met in Poland, but pretty damn close.

Dinnuh

Taken from sunshinerosepetal

Last night I went out to dinner with my friends, two of which were in a relationship and one I related to at some point.  And they expected it to be awkward.  But I came to the conclusion, that things are only as awkward as you make them.  Although some things are always awkward, like waiting 30 minutes for a cop to show up.  And then them calling to let you know that they arrived.  And then trying to find them, only to get told that the current situation could not be resolved.  So that just makes everyone a teensy bit annoyed,  but at least hanging out has diffused the tension a bit.  And food is just always delicious.

Reconnecting Over Italian Goodness

Taken from iheart-myself 

It was nice to chill again.  We hadn't in a few months until today.  Though it might've been a tad rude to be totally excited about my boyfriend and my twin coming back, but it was still a nice time.  The rain didn't even kill it too much.  Though it deflated my skirt a lot.  But it's interesting when you don't talk forever and then all of a sudden you do and you realize things have changed.  And you just have to adjust.  And then things are fun again.

Three Times a Day, Every Day

Taken from myheartishoney

I think the fact that I drink green tea three times a day every day is contributing to the fact that I am losing weight at a scary rate.  But it's so yummy.  And calming.  I mostly drink it for the calm and the warmth it gives.  I know that sounds strange, considering if I truly wanted warmth, I should just go outside for a few seconds.  But I don't want to melt.  That's what's up in this New York City heat.

But inside, safe from the heat, I can safely drink my tea and destress from everything I need to do.  Like all the school paperwork I need to do to get into a class, and the fact that I have about three meetings to make in 4 days when I'm trying to move in and enjoy time with friends.  But I guess tea will be super useful then.  As it is now.

The Art of Sleeping

Taken from deciso

I greatly dislike sleeping in.  What I mean to say is that I love the feeling it gives me physically when I wake up but emotionally, I just feel like I wasted a whole day.  Even though I woke up at 10 AM, which is early compared to most Americans aged 16-24 on weekends.  But still, I do not like feeling and thinking of all the things I could've accomplished.  But my bed was just so comfortable.

Indoors

Taken from 17shells

I think I enjoy being outdoors more than I do being indoors.  I prefer being outdoors chilling with someone and doing nothing than being indoors with someone doing nothing.  Air conditioning just makes me feel worse and I guess that makes sense because it's not natural.

I can't wait to go outside and feel slightly better.  Just because it's the sun and it's awesome.  And once I get back to campus, I won't be having it for much longer.  Which is kind of lame.

Fashionista at Last

Taken from myheartishoney:

The sickness is mostly gone at this point.  I can actually look good while going outside because I've had the energy to put better clothing on.  And accessorize.  And put some of the outfits I planned out in my style journal to life.  That was the best part.  Though the one I wanted was a bit too fancy, I toned it down a bit and I feel so much better now in actual clothes than a random shirt and sweat pants.

On Sickness

Taken from sunshinerosepetal

I want to lay in bed all day and at the same time be out and about to make myself laugh and just be jolly and active.  I'm also lying in bed because of awful cramps and missing my boo and missing human beings in general.  And all I do is make collages and draw and read and looking over my scheduled life for the next three years and being terrified and the list goes on and on and on.

I need to learn how to shut my brain off.

On The Beach

Taken from pleasantinterruption

It's just so serene.  Sure, there's a breeze blowing and the waves can be loud and those freaking birds making their awkward squawking noises, but it's just so calm.  You lay there like a bum under the shade, or under the sun if you do so dare, for hours.  And the sun is just so warm and friendly and awesome, especially after a few weeks of mid-fall weather.  You could read, you could listen to music, you could be stressed out--it's just a little more relaxing while laying on the sun.  I couldn't've had a better day yesterday.

Krakow (N.a.P.)

My stay in Krakow could be summarized by a month-long booze and crappy eating fest with some studying and dating in between.  You might think I'm joking, but I'm really not.  So let's do a week by week run down.

WEEK ONE

I moved into this lovely building where my room was attached to another by a bathroom and we had a communal balcony.  How many dorms in American have balconies?  That's what I thought.  The first day I met my roommates and went to the downstairs bar to meet people.  Everyone seemed pretty chill but were pretty tired from coming into the dorm that day.  The second day I took a placement test and got into level B1, which is for people who can speak but not spell good.  We had two teachers per lesson, a vocabulary teacher and a grammar teacher.  I also took an afternoon course in Twentieth Century Polish literature.  That was fun, I guess.  After classes, my roommates and I checked out the Polish night life and did a lot of this:

Mm, yep.  That weekend, we went on a rafting tour, which was fun but kind of scary at the same time.  This one kid got heat stroke, passed out, and threw up because of food poisoning.  Forty-four other people got food poisoning too, which was kind of scary so they closed the dining hall downstairs.  I avoided it and got to enjoy this lovely view:

WEEK TWO

I went exploring the town with my uncle and grandfather (not actually related, of course.  I have a strange habit of calling people relatives).  But I also started spending a lot of time with this lovely human being:

He is my boyfriend now and we complement each other very well.  So I did less partying and more dating.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I did go out for my roomie's birthday to this fancy club.  I still can't decide if I actually liked the club or not, but some things will never be known.  That weekend, we went on a hiking trip in  further southern Poland in the town of Zakopane.  In true TKF form, we arrived an hour and a half late and only go to see the crappy waterfall, not the cool one.  Hanging out was fun though.

And then afterwards, my fake family and I went to the absinthe bar to enjoy a few drinks and a few more bars and basically turn into the best shit show of the century.  Because that is what cool kids do after hiking and midterms.

WEEK THREE

The third week was another week of exploring the city, but also kind of melancholy because the three-weekers were leaving so everyone wanted to spend as much time with them as possible.  But I also met my boyfriend's brother who came for what we called the three day accelerated course in drinking.  He wasn't actually part of the program, but we made him feel like he was.

We also had this cute, course-wide bonfire where there were contests and singing and, of course, kielbasa.  The sad part was, it had rained so much that day that it screwed up the fire wood so we didn't have an awesome burning inferno on the dorm quad, but the sausage was good and everyone had a good time.

The last day of the week was the closing ceremony for the three-weekers.  My boyfriend and I skipped it to go to a Morrissey concert.  It was SO MUCH FUN.  I only heard a handful of songs before, but this 50-something-year-old man had true stage presence.  And the dubstepper I'm dating liked him, which was totally bizarre.  But I had a ton of fun.  And then afterwards, we went to the closing ceremony after party, which for many people, was another shit show.

WEEK FOUR

The first day of the last week, we went to a salt mine.  It was pretty awesome.  It's so bizarre how it's all underground and still really preserved.  In addition, there were salt statues there a few decades old and they haven't come apart yet.  I got really light-headed and giddy from the lack of oxygen, so my friends had a hey-day with that.

That week was also a cultural excursion for me.  My boyfriend took me to an art museum and the next day me and my other friends went to the zoo while he was packing and stuff.  The zoo was surprisingly a lot of fun.  Polish animals are interesting, mostly kind of slow because of the crappy weather.  I've never been to a Polish zoo before and I haven't been to a zoo in general in years.  But making jokes and enjoying one of the few good days was a nice experience.

We also had the four-weeker closing ceremony, which was really cute.  There was a slide show, musical performances, and the giving out of diplomas.  I got an A in both my classes, which made me ecstatic to the point of tears.  So we also had an after party and I had a lot of fun with my friends (my boyfriend couldn't be there because he's backpacking for a week and kind of fell off the face of the Earth).  But the next day, we went out to a fancy place to get nice deserts and later went out for drinks together for the last time.

Poland this year was an amazing experience.  I met a ton of great people, fell in like, learned a language, and started to appreciate my Polish culture a whole lot more.

Oh Home

Taken from sunshinerosepetal

I flew by myself yesterday.
All alone in an airplane.

Well, not all alone,

There were a few hundred other people on the plane too.

But I knew none of them.

Some of them had families with them.

Others had people to call when they landed.

My mom had my sim card, so I couldn't

Exactly call anyone.

And the first person I'd call is Snugglestick.

But he's in a forest somewhere.

He's backpacking.

No service, no internet, no computer.

No contact until he gets back on the 9th.

I need to be responsible and independent.

And hang out with cool people.

As in, everyone else I haven't seen all year

Or haven't seen in a few months.

Party Rock

Taken from suckmyclock

It starts with a beverage or two.  The party dance.  The, you know, you start moving around a bit and then a bit more, until you get to something that might even sort of resemble dancing. The party rock comes a bit shortly after, when you finally get a little tired and figure "hey, lets keep consuming."  Then it's the party shimmy.  And then the dreaded party sway.  And after that, the party floor.

Death to the Essay

Taken from over-ture

It's summer in Krakow and there are so many other things I'd rather be doing.  Like checking out the city.  Holding hands on a picnic blanket with my favorite.  Enjoy the calm breeze under the trees, maybe enjoying a cool beer.  My head resting on his chest  I would also just want to not be chained to the frustration of writing in a language I am only orally fluent in.  But I must press on.

Dating With Hipsters

Taken from pleasantinterruption

So first we just sat there.  You had your arms crossed defensively and I couldn't tell if you actually enjoyed hanging out or whatever.  I was trying to seem open and stuff and it seemed to work.  I was charismatic, telling stories, sharing interests.  But at first it was hard to tell anything off you.  But as the weather became nicer and the night matured, and we had a few more beers and then went back to the dorm and listened to some dubstep.  And then we kissed for a bit and he walked me home.  I guess that's what dating hipsters is like.

I Want to Make the Future

Taken from 17shells

I will make the future right now.  There will be invisible railways, everywhere, dragging cars full of people every where, traffic free, energy safe.  Everyone will dress sharp, somehow, because everything will be so expensive due to the prolonged depressions caused by economic strife.  But somehow, everyone will be educated and healthy.  Because medicine will be so advanced.  Nanobots fixing everything.  And no, not everyday will be post-apocalyptic and dreary.

A Bit of a Dip

Taken from bowiesome 

As most people know, I am a ridiculous human being.  I'm slinking back into slight insecurity over my body.  I feel totally sick right now because I was a fucking cow and ate too much today.  I think I regained half or all the weight I worked so hard to lose in the previous month.  But I still feel trim.  I guess that's something.  But instead of feeling bad now, I can just plan to eat well tomorrow and not be a cow.  Differences in attitudes help.

My Roomies Are Silly

Taken from pleasantinterruption

It's interesting living with two girls who have boyfriends.  Not a lot, but some of their day is dedicated to communication with their loved ones across the ocean in America.  I don't mind; I don't get jealous about things like that.  The missing, the wondering if they're being good, the wishing they were at that hoppin' bar with you.

But a curious thing happened.  In our class, I am the lone ranger of the three of us who doesn't want a boyfriend right now, but wouldn't mind flirting with a boy.  Or, you know, whatever.  But when saying what kind of "problems" we had (we did a mock get-to-know-each-other warm up first-day-of-language-class interview), one said that my sole problem was that I didn't have a boyfriend.  And it happened the two boys in our class didn't have girlfriends.  And one of them is so cute...

First Days In Krakow

Taken from kiss-itallbetter

Not counting two-, three-, or fewer-week-long trips, I don't think I've ever had a proper roommate.  And now I have 3 other girls living in the same room as me.  Two are similar to each other but vastly different from me.  The other is kind of similar but not really, I guess.  We all have stories to share and places to see so that keeps things fresh and exciting.  I might get used to this whole roommate thing after all.